Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Backslide ....

Gonna do a little backslide right now ...

In regards to my last post .... I may have been a little hasty. Sometimes, that happens when I blog as something frustrating is happening. Also known as "word vomit."

Going forward, I don't want to linger on H ... At least posting about him will probably stop. We talked this weekend ... Really good talk. I finally know where each of us stands, and I am more than good with it. He, like me, is not looking for anything as far as relationships. I know, it makes for some entertainment when I am pursuing something with a guy, but like I said before. I am tired of the chase, getting my hopes up, and just all of it. Socially, I've started to close off .... Almost completely. I'm still on my hiatus from fb and ig, though I have been a little more active on fb this past weekend. The only thing that i'm really taking a break from there is looking at my newsfeed and notifications. I still don't want to see any of H's activity. We still talk everyday, and I prefer that contact with him anyway. It's the preferred method of "social" connectivity that I prefer now with just about anyone. Facebook is just too much of a media giant for me .... At least for the moment. 

I'm at a point in my life where I just want to connect with and be with those real people that matter to me, and who I matter to. I'm so sick of all the fake, asshat bull-shitters, and I just want to be rid of them. It's time for a cleanse .... A purge. So picky now about who I see and hang around with. It's sort of nice, and freeing, though. 

As far as H and I go, pursing anything more has reached a halt. It's okay. I still like him a lot, but he's going through a process that really only he can do. I would like to be around, but I have to deal with the fact that he might just end up forgetting me in the process. So, for now, we're friends. We're clanmates, and that's good enough for me.

xoxo


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