What's invading my thoughts?
Work.
Yes, work. I've been at my new office going on four weeks now. I pretty much dove straight in when I started here, and I know that was expected of me since I can do the basics in my sleep.
This field of law is different, though. I dabbled in it a few years ago, but this firm is strictly EP, Probate and Conservatorships. Diving in, head first has been the best thing. I'm learning so much, and enjoying it. It also helps that my coworkers are so easy to work with, and we all get along.
But, now that I've been here and few weeks, and more and more has been put on my plate, work thoughts are starting to invade my home life.
This past Friday night, I was in the shower with no particular thought in my head until ... I remembered that I was in the middle of an email to an attorney when we broke for pau hana. Mindlessly, I start thinking what I needed to finish sending him on Monday. Which led to another thought ... gotta check on the status of that affidavit and waivers ... and, then WHOA! Shut up, brain! You're not at work!!
So, this morning, I told one of my coworkers about work thoughts invading my home life. She had to laugh. Not only is our office crazy busy, but the stress level can be unbelievable. And, yes, work is going to consume you .. if you let it. But, one thing she told me, is that once that starts happening, you know you're doing well, and you like it.
She's not wrong. I do like it. The job, the people, the work. And, I am doing well ... at least I know I can hack it.
Look at that, it's pau hana time already. And, I feel like I just got here. Time to split!
Monday, March 23, 2015
Dreams ... again
Once again, I am posting about dreams. It's crazy sometimes how a dream can make you think... that is, when you can remember them.
This one I had early this morning. Woke from it around 5:30am with a feeling of desire for someone I had never considered that way. Ever.
He's one of the guys that would ride with us, and we were never really close, but he's always been friendly when we'd go out. I haven't seen him in a few months, but it's always nice when we do get to hang.
Before you jump to any conclusions, NO, I am not interested in this guy. I just find it funny how a dream can make you feel something for someone you'd never had any desire for. Maybe if he were on the market, I might make a play for him, but he isn't, so why bother?
After coming in to work today, I briefly discuss this and dreams with one of my coworkers. She and I agree that it's symbolic of something in my life, but not sure what. Contemplating having a reading done some time soon. No, not because of this dream, but because I'm curious. I have been for a while now. Curious about what? Well, things that might happen for me down the road. The itch is not super intense, so I'm good either way. It's just a curiosity in me that is always there.
Jumping to another thought, my clan is in war right now. Quite possibly one of the hardest we've been in yet. Seems every other war is like this now. Is it because we're all upgrading and getting stronger? Ugh. I think so.
Don't mind me ... just had a nerdy clash moment. I love them. My clan.
Anyway, lunch is almost over, and I have a ton of work to get done before the end of the day. I may be back later.
xoxo
This one I had early this morning. Woke from it around 5:30am with a feeling of desire for someone I had never considered that way. Ever.
He's one of the guys that would ride with us, and we were never really close, but he's always been friendly when we'd go out. I haven't seen him in a few months, but it's always nice when we do get to hang.
Before you jump to any conclusions, NO, I am not interested in this guy. I just find it funny how a dream can make you feel something for someone you'd never had any desire for. Maybe if he were on the market, I might make a play for him, but he isn't, so why bother?
After coming in to work today, I briefly discuss this and dreams with one of my coworkers. She and I agree that it's symbolic of something in my life, but not sure what. Contemplating having a reading done some time soon. No, not because of this dream, but because I'm curious. I have been for a while now. Curious about what? Well, things that might happen for me down the road. The itch is not super intense, so I'm good either way. It's just a curiosity in me that is always there.
Jumping to another thought, my clan is in war right now. Quite possibly one of the hardest we've been in yet. Seems every other war is like this now. Is it because we're all upgrading and getting stronger? Ugh. I think so.
Don't mind me ... just had a nerdy clash moment. I love them. My clan.
Anyway, lunch is almost over, and I have a ton of work to get done before the end of the day. I may be back later.
xoxo
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Texas ...
Can anybody tell me anything good about Texas? I've been to San Antonio, and it was beautiful there. Wouldn't mind visiting again. But, how is the living situation? Especially the transition a Hawaii girl would have to make??
Just thinking out loud. It's open for discussion. Come one, come all. Feed me your input!
Xoxo
Thursday, March 19, 2015
ATTENTION all you ....
Sometimes, I feel like I'm surrounded by them. Attention wh*res.
Just this morning, I don't know HOW MANY of my friends posted on their fb walls this one attention-getting meme/pic, or whatever you wanna call it:
Just this morning, I don't know HOW MANY of my friends posted on their fb walls this one attention-getting meme/pic, or whatever you wanna call it:
I confess that, yes, I was on my fb newsfeed briefly this morning. And, as I scrolled I came a cross a few of these. It begs the question, really? You feel the need to have so much attention because you must be lacking it in other aspects of your life, huh?
And, then I look at who posted these. It all makes sense .. more or less. My "friends" who post shit like this only want attention. They crave it, they need it, they live on it. If it's not a post like this, it's pictures of themselves doing ... what ever. Surfing, riding, partying, or just being a selfie monster.
See, it's things like this that keep me away from fb. Why you gotta act all aloof and clueless by putting crap like this up? Don't you know that people can see right through your bullshit? And, the ones that actually comment are worse. Feeding on each others need to be recognized and validated as someone important to YOU. My god.
Now, before you start coming down on me for dogging these kind of attention go-getters by saying, oh, you have a blog that's all about yourself. Yes, I do have a blog, but I'm not bothering anyone with it. I'm not shoving it in anyone's face or posting that you NEED to go read my blog. Or, asking anybody to pick a number and I'll be honest with my answer. Hah! Oh please ... just making myself more irritated.
It's late, and time for lunch. The hunger monster is coming out in blog form. Must feed.
I'll be back a little later ...
xoxo
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
It's a little bit funny ....
It's just a little funny how things work out these days. If anyone is wondering what the highest form of a compliment is ... it's when you encounter a copycat.
Everything about them screams YOU. They may not even be aware of the fact that they are trying to be like you, but in everything they say and do, it's very apparent. Whether it's something you have that they want, someone they want that you have, or they plain just love you and want to send you a pint of their blood (yeah, it's from a movie). I am flattered when I encounter the copycat behavior, no matter what aspect of my life it happens to be.
I see it everywhere. Not just with myself, but I see it in a certain few of my friends. And, I notice it's the people that like the masses the least. Why, oh why do people flock to us? I do have to laugh at that because I hate people. Not the ones close to me, and not my family, of course. But, I can't stand most of the masses. It's hard to tell though ... I mask it well. You'd never know it because I can be the sweetest, most polite woman you ever met. Make you think I like you even more than I actually do. Some would call that being fake, I just call it being civil, polite, even friendly. You must have this skill in order to function as a normal, accepted human being. If we all ran around like unkempt monkeys, that would be no society at all. And, believe me ... I know a great deal of them unkempt monkeys. Ha!
In any case, I am always flattered when I see a copycat. So, thank you, copycats. You are most appreciated!
xoxo
Everything about them screams YOU. They may not even be aware of the fact that they are trying to be like you, but in everything they say and do, it's very apparent. Whether it's something you have that they want, someone they want that you have, or they plain just love you and want to send you a pint of their blood (yeah, it's from a movie). I am flattered when I encounter the copycat behavior, no matter what aspect of my life it happens to be.
I see it everywhere. Not just with myself, but I see it in a certain few of my friends. And, I notice it's the people that like the masses the least. Why, oh why do people flock to us? I do have to laugh at that because I hate people. Not the ones close to me, and not my family, of course. But, I can't stand most of the masses. It's hard to tell though ... I mask it well. You'd never know it because I can be the sweetest, most polite woman you ever met. Make you think I like you even more than I actually do. Some would call that being fake, I just call it being civil, polite, even friendly. You must have this skill in order to function as a normal, accepted human being. If we all ran around like unkempt monkeys, that would be no society at all. And, believe me ... I know a great deal of them unkempt monkeys. Ha!
In any case, I am always flattered when I see a copycat. So, thank you, copycats. You are most appreciated!
xoxo
Friday, March 13, 2015
Tangled
Not the movie, the song. I was driving to work this morning when "Tangled" by Maroon 5 came on. It's a good song, and I like it. But, the lyrics speak volumes to me. I couldn't help but start to laugh as he starts singing, and the words coming out of his mouth were so remnant of my last dating fail. If there was ever a theme song for That guy, that is it.
Hahahaha. Ha. So funny.
"And, I've done you so wrong, treated you bad, strung you along ... Ashamed of myself. I don't know how I got so tangled!"
That line had me rollin!! Oh man. I had to smile cause I am so over that shit.
Just thought I'd share my amusement ....
Xoxo
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Listen to your heart. Before ...
Care to finish that line, anyone? I really don't. Especially since I've made up my mind. And, it's onward I go.
If I listened to my heart every time I fell for a guy, I'd be a miserable pile of messy, tangled hair (cause my hair is long) just hoping, waiting, wanting him to turn back my way, and come back for me. But, we all know that it doesn't work like that. At least, not when we want it to.
For me, I see change years after a guy has left me behind. Not with all of them (thank god), but with some ... and it seems more often than not. And, when it happens, I always question "why?" What has happened in the past few years to make them realize that it's me they want?
I still don't have the answer, even though they always tell me it's because we had so many good times together. And, that I'm still so beautiful. Gee, thanks for noticing, guys. Too bad you didn't appreciate it when ya had me. But, it still doesn't make for a real, true answer. And, not one of them can really show me why. That's mostly my fault though. It's hard to give a guy a chance when you don't feel that way anymore. It really is. Another thing is, I used to be famous for giving just about any guy a chance. Even if I wasn't instantly attracted, I was open to the possibility. What I've found in being so open to a relationship with just anyone is that it will eventually fizzle. And, I'm always to blame for that. I have to be physically attracted almost right off the bat. Seems shallow, but it's the damn truth. It doesn't go very far if I'm not. And, if I start seeing a guy that's LEAVING the island, forget it. There can't be anything real with someone like that. SM excluded cause he WAS living here for 5 years before he left. And, we were good friends first. We still are. Even though he sort of cracked me (didn't break me, cause if he did, I'd still be whining about it), it didn't take very long to get over it, and go back to being friends. It also helped that H was there to swoop me off my feet. And, I think that's all he was meant to do.
Kinda sad, though because for those who don't know me, I'm not the type of girl to linger in the moment. Not for long, that is. I've dated a few guys who made it clear that all they wanted was the attention. Even after they clearly didn't want to be with me, they still wanted me to chase them. Oh HELL NO. What's the fucking point?? To encourage your big fat man ego? No ... I don't think so, buddy. Go get your damn thrills from some other girl. It ain't me.
And, I'm not pointing that at anyone directly. It's just been my experience whilst dating among the masses. Yep, you guys that I've dated and read this, you are just another guy among the mass that I've had to fight through to get to where I am.
So, where am I? I'm in a place of change. Transition. I've been stewing, growing, biding my time in my cocoon for far too long. It's time this butterfly bursts forth and explore the furthest reaches of it's new found freedom. I haven't felt this good in a very long time.
Yes, my dearies. I am going to listen to my heart now. It's telling me that I have a lot of good things coming. And, I know it's right.
xoxo
If I listened to my heart every time I fell for a guy, I'd be a miserable pile of messy, tangled hair (cause my hair is long) just hoping, waiting, wanting him to turn back my way, and come back for me. But, we all know that it doesn't work like that. At least, not when we want it to.
For me, I see change years after a guy has left me behind. Not with all of them (thank god), but with some ... and it seems more often than not. And, when it happens, I always question "why?" What has happened in the past few years to make them realize that it's me they want?
I still don't have the answer, even though they always tell me it's because we had so many good times together. And, that I'm still so beautiful. Gee, thanks for noticing, guys. Too bad you didn't appreciate it when ya had me. But, it still doesn't make for a real, true answer. And, not one of them can really show me why. That's mostly my fault though. It's hard to give a guy a chance when you don't feel that way anymore. It really is. Another thing is, I used to be famous for giving just about any guy a chance. Even if I wasn't instantly attracted, I was open to the possibility. What I've found in being so open to a relationship with just anyone is that it will eventually fizzle. And, I'm always to blame for that. I have to be physically attracted almost right off the bat. Seems shallow, but it's the damn truth. It doesn't go very far if I'm not. And, if I start seeing a guy that's LEAVING the island, forget it. There can't be anything real with someone like that. SM excluded cause he WAS living here for 5 years before he left. And, we were good friends first. We still are. Even though he sort of cracked me (didn't break me, cause if he did, I'd still be whining about it), it didn't take very long to get over it, and go back to being friends. It also helped that H was there to swoop me off my feet. And, I think that's all he was meant to do.
Kinda sad, though because for those who don't know me, I'm not the type of girl to linger in the moment. Not for long, that is. I've dated a few guys who made it clear that all they wanted was the attention. Even after they clearly didn't want to be with me, they still wanted me to chase them. Oh HELL NO. What's the fucking point?? To encourage your big fat man ego? No ... I don't think so, buddy. Go get your damn thrills from some other girl. It ain't me.
And, I'm not pointing that at anyone directly. It's just been my experience whilst dating among the masses. Yep, you guys that I've dated and read this, you are just another guy among the mass that I've had to fight through to get to where I am.
So, where am I? I'm in a place of change. Transition. I've been stewing, growing, biding my time in my cocoon for far too long. It's time this butterfly bursts forth and explore the furthest reaches of it's new found freedom. I haven't felt this good in a very long time.
Yes, my dearies. I am going to listen to my heart now. It's telling me that I have a lot of good things coming. And, I know it's right.
xoxo
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