One of my favorite days of the week .... Taco Tuesday! Just can't wait for work to be over and then, it's $1 tacos with $3 pacifico's and corona's. Can't think of a better way to unwind and enjoy the evening with good friends!
How do you do Taco Tuesday??
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Til I get a little more ....
Hello Readers! I'm back after not posting for a while. The reason being I've been hanging out with someone. I talked about him briefly in my last few posts, but at that time, I was cautious about meeting.
Rightly so.
He came on strong in the beginning .... as they all do and made me feel so important. Like, he wanted to be with me every second of the day. It's so funny, and at the same time, so frustrating getting into anything with a guy like this. My mind goes fuzzy and my judgment, cloudy. False emotions are implanted in my mind by this impostor, and WHOOSH, I'm swept away. That part, is my fault. Letting him sweep me off my feet, and fostering thoughts about this guy and me which, I've come to find are completely the opposite of what he wants right now.
I mean, we both miss the benefits of being in a couple. And, I think that's where we slipped up. We're still hanging out and having a good time, but at whose expense? He is HOT and it sort of boggles my mind that he just wants to hang out with me. Only me. He makes time for me like no one else, so can you see how that would play with my emotions? That's one of the things I love about him. He always wants me around ... even when he isn't there. For example, on Saturday, he had to help a friend move some furniture. It wasn't going to take long, maybe an hour and a half, so he asks if I would stay and wait for him at his place. Then, we could go back to my side to get B when he got back. Dude likes doing everything together. And, that's what I mean about missing being in a couple. Just being with him, doing everyday things is so satisfying for me. So, its hard to disconnect that kind of activity from the emotional part of it all. But, I have to because I enjoy his company and I don't want to lose that. There is something there, that potential for more. I know he sees it because now, he's grown scared of it. I can tell.
He isn't the most perfect guy in the world. No, actually he's far from it as I learn more and more about him. But, his flaws haven't deterred my interest as of yet. His flaws are something that is pulling more interest from me. I want to learn more about his life before me and what causes him to do the things he does. I haven't felt that way about anyone in a very long time. Some other guys I've dated had flaws that just annoyed the shit out of me.
But, when it comes down to it, we both have a lot to deal with in our individual lives now. For one, he's still married and I'm needing to push my divorce papers through. We both have kids, his little T is 2 years and my B is 5 years. He talks about how he knows T and B would get along so well. And, he wants a boy one day. We talk about that shit and I think I've been letting it mess with my head. It's like, he lets himself be a couple with me when he's wanting to be honest. It shows, even though he might say he doesn't remember (and that's the part where the alcohol comes in). Nonetheless, I know how he really feels and he's scared to death of it.
I kind of am, too. Last Saturday, he told me that he loved me. Under the influence, of course. But, you can't just blurt shit like that out without really feeling it. And, what can I say? He said it to me, and I was shocked, but I was feeling it, too.
Anyway, I better wrap this up before I reveal too much of my feelings for this guy. Good night, all!
Rightly so.
He came on strong in the beginning .... as they all do and made me feel so important. Like, he wanted to be with me every second of the day. It's so funny, and at the same time, so frustrating getting into anything with a guy like this. My mind goes fuzzy and my judgment, cloudy. False emotions are implanted in my mind by this impostor, and WHOOSH, I'm swept away. That part, is my fault. Letting him sweep me off my feet, and fostering thoughts about this guy and me which, I've come to find are completely the opposite of what he wants right now.
I mean, we both miss the benefits of being in a couple. And, I think that's where we slipped up. We're still hanging out and having a good time, but at whose expense? He is HOT and it sort of boggles my mind that he just wants to hang out with me. Only me. He makes time for me like no one else, so can you see how that would play with my emotions? That's one of the things I love about him. He always wants me around ... even when he isn't there. For example, on Saturday, he had to help a friend move some furniture. It wasn't going to take long, maybe an hour and a half, so he asks if I would stay and wait for him at his place. Then, we could go back to my side to get B when he got back. Dude likes doing everything together. And, that's what I mean about missing being in a couple. Just being with him, doing everyday things is so satisfying for me. So, its hard to disconnect that kind of activity from the emotional part of it all. But, I have to because I enjoy his company and I don't want to lose that. There is something there, that potential for more. I know he sees it because now, he's grown scared of it. I can tell.
He isn't the most perfect guy in the world. No, actually he's far from it as I learn more and more about him. But, his flaws haven't deterred my interest as of yet. His flaws are something that is pulling more interest from me. I want to learn more about his life before me and what causes him to do the things he does. I haven't felt that way about anyone in a very long time. Some other guys I've dated had flaws that just annoyed the shit out of me.
But, when it comes down to it, we both have a lot to deal with in our individual lives now. For one, he's still married and I'm needing to push my divorce papers through. We both have kids, his little T is 2 years and my B is 5 years. He talks about how he knows T and B would get along so well. And, he wants a boy one day. We talk about that shit and I think I've been letting it mess with my head. It's like, he lets himself be a couple with me when he's wanting to be honest. It shows, even though he might say he doesn't remember (and that's the part where the alcohol comes in). Nonetheless, I know how he really feels and he's scared to death of it.
I kind of am, too. Last Saturday, he told me that he loved me. Under the influence, of course. But, you can't just blurt shit like that out without really feeling it. And, what can I say? He said it to me, and I was shocked, but I was feeling it, too.
Anyway, I better wrap this up before I reveal too much of my feelings for this guy. Good night, all!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Chill out ... breathe ....
What a day I've had. Besides the conflicted feelings I'm having about two people, a douche bag from my recent past had resurfaced and contacted me again.
Not that its hurt that I'm feeling, its the fact that my mind is so boggled with the way this douche wronged me and then never talks to me again until today. He doesn't even realize that he did anything wrong. I am so shocked that he actually thinks I'd want to "hang out" with him after doing what he did. This guy is a mind-fucker and I won't stand for it.
On the other side of yesterday's coin is, yes, the conflicting thoughts and feelings about two people I've been hanging out with. One is a riding buddy who, until this weekend, I thought would be a fun foodie/riding partner. He and I have been going out every other weekend eating at new places and going for some fun and intense rides on his CBR. We've been having a good time and it's been nice knowing that he's up for anything. BUT, he told me this weekend that he's kinda seeing someone. It sounds like it's very casual and along the lines of just having a good time. I've met her and she's a nice girl, pretty fun. But, now that I've heard it from him, I feel weird about going out with him. Even though she is cool with it and is seeing other guys, too. Plus, I know this guy cares about me. When I show up at bike night with riders he doesn't know, he always makes it a point to ask me who they are and there's always a bit of concern in his voice when he does.
Last weekend while we were out, he asked if I was dating anyone. I didn't really have an answer. I said that I wasn't, but in the back of my mind, there was the other guy whom I recently met.
Now, this new guy is younger by four years, but he's pretty wise beyond his years. He and I have an insane amount of things in common, and he's really fun to be with. I've hung out with him a few times and the chemistry between us is palpable and I have a good feeling about this one.
Yesterday, I had this post all figured out and arranged in my head, but now I'm going to split them up. Each thought for one post .... I'll be back in a few.
Not that its hurt that I'm feeling, its the fact that my mind is so boggled with the way this douche wronged me and then never talks to me again until today. He doesn't even realize that he did anything wrong. I am so shocked that he actually thinks I'd want to "hang out" with him after doing what he did. This guy is a mind-fucker and I won't stand for it.
On the other side of yesterday's coin is, yes, the conflicting thoughts and feelings about two people I've been hanging out with. One is a riding buddy who, until this weekend, I thought would be a fun foodie/riding partner. He and I have been going out every other weekend eating at new places and going for some fun and intense rides on his CBR. We've been having a good time and it's been nice knowing that he's up for anything. BUT, he told me this weekend that he's kinda seeing someone. It sounds like it's very casual and along the lines of just having a good time. I've met her and she's a nice girl, pretty fun. But, now that I've heard it from him, I feel weird about going out with him. Even though she is cool with it and is seeing other guys, too. Plus, I know this guy cares about me. When I show up at bike night with riders he doesn't know, he always makes it a point to ask me who they are and there's always a bit of concern in his voice when he does.
Last weekend while we were out, he asked if I was dating anyone. I didn't really have an answer. I said that I wasn't, but in the back of my mind, there was the other guy whom I recently met.
Now, this new guy is younger by four years, but he's pretty wise beyond his years. He and I have an insane amount of things in common, and he's really fun to be with. I've hung out with him a few times and the chemistry between us is palpable and I have a good feeling about this one.
Yesterday, I had this post all figured out and arranged in my head, but now I'm going to split them up. Each thought for one post .... I'll be back in a few.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Conflicted
Just some random thoughts going through my head in the last few days ...
Last night, I invited a guy friend as my guest for the movie. We kind of ended up spending almost the whole day together. He took me to work in the morning and then came up to town to watch football at his brother's place which is near my office. He grabbed me from work, went to have a drink with one of his couple friends, and then it was off to Ward for a screening with one of my couple friends.
This friend is very easy to be around. We have a past and that's probably why its so comfortable being with him. Some serious thoughts were swirling about my head while we were together last night. I say serious because I've been thinking about being in a couple again.
Geez, it's even hard to get the words out of my head, I'm so conflicted! The reason being .... we hurt each other real bad in the past. We were out of touch for about 3 years, and when he came back into my life earlier this year, I was a little harsh. Not wanting to believe he genuinely wanted me in his life, whether it was as a friend or more. But, now that we're spending more time together, I'm starting to see him as a potential suitor once again.
In other thoughts, there is someone else I've been talking with lately. He's new to the island and very cute. Seems respectful and very down to earth. Two traits I have NOT seen in any of the guys I've been meeting over the past few months. We are meeting for lunch in about a half hour and I'm trying to remain indifferent because of my recent experience with jerks who meet me, hang out a few times and then disappear on me, never to be heard from again. Very skeptical at the moment, so we'll see how things go after this first meeting.
This is going to sound funny, but I'm also conflicted about where to celebrate my birthday this year. It's coming up in two weeks and I want to have a small dinner somewhere swanky, but inexpensive at the same time. A few places come to mind, so I've been checking out menu's and considering logistics of the night.
Last year, I celebrated my 21st (haha!) birthday with friends at Dave 'n Buster's taco tuesday. That was a real good time! Dollar tacos, cheap beer and great company. A popular radio station had been broadcasting live that night, and one of their outspoken radio personalities singled me out for my birthday on the air. It was a blast!
This year, I'm turning 25 (wink, wink) ... Yeah, that's right! But, in all seriousness, this year is going by much too fast for me.
Back with more thoughts later ...
Last night, I invited a guy friend as my guest for the movie. We kind of ended up spending almost the whole day together. He took me to work in the morning and then came up to town to watch football at his brother's place which is near my office. He grabbed me from work, went to have a drink with one of his couple friends, and then it was off to Ward for a screening with one of my couple friends.
This friend is very easy to be around. We have a past and that's probably why its so comfortable being with him. Some serious thoughts were swirling about my head while we were together last night. I say serious because I've been thinking about being in a couple again.
Geez, it's even hard to get the words out of my head, I'm so conflicted! The reason being .... we hurt each other real bad in the past. We were out of touch for about 3 years, and when he came back into my life earlier this year, I was a little harsh. Not wanting to believe he genuinely wanted me in his life, whether it was as a friend or more. But, now that we're spending more time together, I'm starting to see him as a potential suitor once again.
In other thoughts, there is someone else I've been talking with lately. He's new to the island and very cute. Seems respectful and very down to earth. Two traits I have NOT seen in any of the guys I've been meeting over the past few months. We are meeting for lunch in about a half hour and I'm trying to remain indifferent because of my recent experience with jerks who meet me, hang out a few times and then disappear on me, never to be heard from again. Very skeptical at the moment, so we'll see how things go after this first meeting.
This is going to sound funny, but I'm also conflicted about where to celebrate my birthday this year. It's coming up in two weeks and I want to have a small dinner somewhere swanky, but inexpensive at the same time. A few places come to mind, so I've been checking out menu's and considering logistics of the night.
Last year, I celebrated my 21st (haha!) birthday with friends at Dave 'n Buster's taco tuesday. That was a real good time! Dollar tacos, cheap beer and great company. A popular radio station had been broadcasting live that night, and one of their outspoken radio personalities singled me out for my birthday on the air. It was a blast!
This year, I'm turning 25 (wink, wink) ... Yeah, that's right! But, in all seriousness, this year is going by much too fast for me.
Back with more thoughts later ...
Movie night
Last night, I attended an advance screening of "For a good time, call" at Ward with three of my good friends. The movie isn't out until next month, but it will be worth the money! It was hilarious and I'm so glad I took the time go and see it.
I had thought this movie would be packed, but it turned out that hardly anyone knew about it. Despite all the big-named stars in this flick, the theater was not crowded at all. That was a nice surprise since the last few screenings I've gone to were so packed, they had to turn people away, plus we had to check our phones in at the door. Not the case with this movie. None the less, it was very funny, so I give it a thumbs up! Go see it!!
After the movie, the four of us headed to Pandora's Cafe for some hot, spicy Korean style ramen ... and other delicious food! We talked, caught up, made fun of the silly girl and boy bands playing on the tv's and just enjoyed the night.
So, I just came back from my daily run to the post office and on the way there, I get randomly hit on and asked out to lunch. The guy was tall, dark and cute, but I already have lunch plans today. Plus, random guy on the street? Kinda weird. Haha! Still, it was flattering.
That's all for now ....
I had thought this movie would be packed, but it turned out that hardly anyone knew about it. Despite all the big-named stars in this flick, the theater was not crowded at all. That was a nice surprise since the last few screenings I've gone to were so packed, they had to turn people away, plus we had to check our phones in at the door. Not the case with this movie. None the less, it was very funny, so I give it a thumbs up! Go see it!!
After the movie, the four of us headed to Pandora's Cafe for some hot, spicy Korean style ramen ... and other delicious food! We talked, caught up, made fun of the silly girl and boy bands playing on the tv's and just enjoyed the night.
So, I just came back from my daily run to the post office and on the way there, I get randomly hit on and asked out to lunch. The guy was tall, dark and cute, but I already have lunch plans today. Plus, random guy on the street? Kinda weird. Haha! Still, it was flattering.
That's all for now ....
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Random crapness
Hello readers! I'm back with some randomness happening in my life ...
Remember, I promised you that short story a few months (yeah, months) ago? Well, turns out I have lost the motivation to complete that project, but rest assured, I have not stopped writing. I am working on two other projects. One, novel-length book that I hope to publish my the end of the year and I've just started another short story. I may post it here in parts ... haven't decided yet.
A lot has been going on in the past few weeks. As far as dating ... I'm taking a little break. This last guy I was kind of seeing turned out to be another jerk. Once again, I was left hanging, not knowing what happened to make him stop answering my texts. I hung out with the guy a few times and I guess he ultimately decided I wasn't worth his time so he just stopped communication. Makes it so hard to even begin to trust people.
My poor car has been sitting in my driveway for about a week now with a flat tire. How do I not have the time to take care of this? It is making me kind of angry because I love the freedom of having my own transportation. Plus, I love my car. Will take care of it this week. And, then on to other solutions for other problems ... most of them, financial.
Thinking of getting a second job. Have I said that before? Well, if I did, I'm absolutely serious about it now. I love my job, but I get paid crap. It's time to make a decision because I can no longer stand working full time and running out of money before the month is done. Craigslist, here I come ...
Oh, and if anyone knows of a position I'd like (writing for a website or something would be nice!), let me know! If it involves working at home, I'm interested!!
Night ....
Remember, I promised you that short story a few months (yeah, months) ago? Well, turns out I have lost the motivation to complete that project, but rest assured, I have not stopped writing. I am working on two other projects. One, novel-length book that I hope to publish my the end of the year and I've just started another short story. I may post it here in parts ... haven't decided yet.
A lot has been going on in the past few weeks. As far as dating ... I'm taking a little break. This last guy I was kind of seeing turned out to be another jerk. Once again, I was left hanging, not knowing what happened to make him stop answering my texts. I hung out with the guy a few times and I guess he ultimately decided I wasn't worth his time so he just stopped communication. Makes it so hard to even begin to trust people.
My poor car has been sitting in my driveway for about a week now with a flat tire. How do I not have the time to take care of this? It is making me kind of angry because I love the freedom of having my own transportation. Plus, I love my car. Will take care of it this week. And, then on to other solutions for other problems ... most of them, financial.
Thinking of getting a second job. Have I said that before? Well, if I did, I'm absolutely serious about it now. I love my job, but I get paid crap. It's time to make a decision because I can no longer stand working full time and running out of money before the month is done. Craigslist, here I come ...
Oh, and if anyone knows of a position I'd like (writing for a website or something would be nice!), let me know! If it involves working at home, I'm interested!!
Night ....
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