Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Continued from last night ...

So, this post is a continuation from my last one. Yep, the one about New M. I'll have to admit that these guys are keeping it interesting. Never a dull moment, I swear. 

About a month ago, I get a friend request on facebook from New M. He and I hadn't been friends or in contact for about two or so years. This came as a surprise. I had no clue what he could want, except for trying to be friends after getting sober and to sort of make up for all the times that he wasn't. I thought it was fine, so I approved his request, and we started chatting here and there. 

At the time, I had been dating someone, so our talks were nothing more than 'hey how are you?' and  just joking around. Though, I did notice that almost every time there was an exchange between us, he would make mention of the past ... when we used to hang out. He mentioned once that he didn't know why we stopped seeing each other. Well, there's the drinking for you ... it's a real thing. 

So, I told him that we stopped seeing each other because he told me that he met someone. Kinda funny not to remember something like that, right? And, another time, he mentioned how he always thought I was such a good mom, and that he loved my little cutie pie. He's got his own little cutie pie who is younger, and was the core of his issues while he lived here. Just made him crazy to be so far away from her. That, I can totally understand. But, the drinking so excessively, I could not. 

He even started to flirt with me, saying things like he still thinks I'm beautiful, and asked me for a recent picture. In my head, I was like whaaaaat?! But, I sent him one anyway. 

After that, conversations were sparse ... every few days. Nothing too long, always short. Until a few nights ago. He tells me that he's been thinking about me a lot, and even moving back here for a while. That took me by surprise because while he was here, he hated it. He also said that he keeps thinking about how it would be since he's sober now. How what would be?? His reply, you and me.

Now, this was pretty late one night, and I was having a hard time comprehending what he was saying. I had just settled something with the other guy THAT day, and I'm still not completely over it. How can I just jump to something else? New M is talking some serious shit, and I am more than flabbergasted. It's very flattering to say the least, but how can this work? I was just in a long distance relationship that didn't work out. So, why the hell would I want to get right back into another one?? 

I ask myself these questions the next day since I fell asleep on our convo the night before. It was on my mind intermittently throughout the day, so I decided to get some help from one of my good girl friends. She's the best and helped me put it in perspective. 

Not saying that I'm actually considering this, but he's still on about it today. He really wants to give us a real chance. I'm still having a hard time believing this, but that's probably because so much time has passed. And, I can't get it through my head that he still wants something with me. Something serious, too. His words. I mean, wow. To me, this is crazy. There's only one guy I've ever considered off and on throughout the last few years. But, other than him, I haven't even given the guys I've dated in my past a second thought. Is that terrible, or what?? 

It's also bad timing since there's the guy that I was just dating. I had got into him pretty good. He's amazing and we connect on so many levels, but the issues are just too heavy. It really sucks because I like him. Still. 

So, I've tried to steer clear of the whole "lets give it a shot" convo today with New M. Let's hope this one goes away. All by itself. Sigh.

xoxo     

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