Yeah, I caught that damn site Opinuns up and running again. I emailed them to ask what the hell happened since I was doing some decent writing for them, and then kapoot!
I have no idea if I'll hear back about what happened, or if they'll even give me another writing contract, but I gotta try, right? Even though it was celebrity gossip and my opinion, it was pretty entertaining and really tested my writing skills. It's great experience for me to gain as a published writer ... not to mention getting paid for each article. That's always nice.
I think what I really need to do is find a site, or a few that would be willing to publish some of my stories. Like, a weekly thing. I have so much in my head, and getting them all down into each book is a bit challenging at the moment since I am without my laptop. I'm a writer. How does this happen?? Ugh.
Driving me nuts right about now.
xoxo
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
So much I've missed
Looking back on 2014, I've realized how much I missed. It was a great year, don't get me wrong, it's just that while I was having such a great year in my head, I forgot to have a life here where I am. Physically.
First off, I need to apologize to my little B. I was consumed with someone who didn't really feel the same as I did. That took my attention away from her, and that's time I can never get back. Second, plans for a move can be put on hold. No pressure to be out there by the start of the next school year, and it actually feels good. A move off this island is definitely in my future, but not for a while.
It was fun making plans to be out there, but as the year was coming to an end, I was starting to have some doubts. Plan B began to form in my head as I felt SM slipping away. I started wondering what it would be like when I was finally up there. Would he actually make time to be with me? As it was the last two or so months, he barely texted and forget skyping. I had to put my big girl panties on and brace myself for a change. And, I am so glad I did.
When the break up email came, it was a shock, but the effects didn't last as long as they might have if I kept the fantasy going in my head.
Fantasy. That's all it was. A nice little escape in my head. Thinking I could change my situation and solve all my problems with a huge move like that. The change would be good, I know that, but I am glad that I made him less of a factor in my plans.
This last week has opened my eyes to the many wonderful things I had been missing here in the place that I live. In the now. I had forgotten how exciting and fun it is to actually go out with someone who lives here. Someone who wants to be in my company. Though, I love being a homebody, I enjoy going out and being among the masses, too. All the while doing it with someone I enjoy spending my time with.
Part of me wants to go off on a rant about the fantasy and reality of the sorted SM relationship that just ended. I feel duped. Like, I wasted half my year in my head with him when I could have been enjoying someone else who is physically real to me. But, I won't. That, I think, is something for my eyes only. No one needs to see it. Jumbled thoughts, random ideas and over thinking can be too much for my blog ... sometimes.
Work, thank goodness, is almost finished. Catching up on sleep is on the agenda for tonight. And, recruiting one or two new members for my clan. We need to go to war. Like, last week.
I really need to fix my laptop.
Night, readers. Xoxo
First off, I need to apologize to my little B. I was consumed with someone who didn't really feel the same as I did. That took my attention away from her, and that's time I can never get back. Second, plans for a move can be put on hold. No pressure to be out there by the start of the next school year, and it actually feels good. A move off this island is definitely in my future, but not for a while.
It was fun making plans to be out there, but as the year was coming to an end, I was starting to have some doubts. Plan B began to form in my head as I felt SM slipping away. I started wondering what it would be like when I was finally up there. Would he actually make time to be with me? As it was the last two or so months, he barely texted and forget skyping. I had to put my big girl panties on and brace myself for a change. And, I am so glad I did.
When the break up email came, it was a shock, but the effects didn't last as long as they might have if I kept the fantasy going in my head.
Fantasy. That's all it was. A nice little escape in my head. Thinking I could change my situation and solve all my problems with a huge move like that. The change would be good, I know that, but I am glad that I made him less of a factor in my plans.
This last week has opened my eyes to the many wonderful things I had been missing here in the place that I live. In the now. I had forgotten how exciting and fun it is to actually go out with someone who lives here. Someone who wants to be in my company. Though, I love being a homebody, I enjoy going out and being among the masses, too. All the while doing it with someone I enjoy spending my time with.
Part of me wants to go off on a rant about the fantasy and reality of the sorted SM relationship that just ended. I feel duped. Like, I wasted half my year in my head with him when I could have been enjoying someone else who is physically real to me. But, I won't. That, I think, is something for my eyes only. No one needs to see it. Jumbled thoughts, random ideas and over thinking can be too much for my blog ... sometimes.
Work, thank goodness, is almost finished. Catching up on sleep is on the agenda for tonight. And, recruiting one or two new members for my clan. We need to go to war. Like, last week.
I really need to fix my laptop.
Night, readers. Xoxo
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Trust your gut ...
Why do we always go against what our gut is telling us? Well, not always, but it seems more often then not.
In this case, my gut was so right on about this.
All I'm gonna say about this one is that my gut instincts were absolutely right. I had a feeling about someone I had never met. And, this was months and months ago. Now that things have been clarified in my personal life, it's so clear to see that this person was meant to be in it. Back then, the time wasn't right. And, now ....
....to be continued.
xoxo
In this case, my gut was so right on about this.
All I'm gonna say about this one is that my gut instincts were absolutely right. I had a feeling about someone I had never met. And, this was months and months ago. Now that things have been clarified in my personal life, it's so clear to see that this person was meant to be in it. Back then, the time wasn't right. And, now ....
....to be continued.
xoxo
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
When it's over ....
So, it's over. SM and I are threw.
The past few weeks have been sparse as far as communication. I had a feeling something was amiss.
He sent me an email on Monday afternoon detailing his absence due to soul searching and figuring out what was missing in our relationship. He came to the conclusion that we should just be friends. Friends.
It's Wednesday afternoon, and I have to say that I am feeling a lot better. I have requested that we talk about this since I have questions. He kind of blindsided me. As far as I knew, we were fine. Happy, even. Up until a few weeks ago.
The only thing I can think of is he felt too much pressure with my pending move out there. He said that he felt something was missing, and felt that he, rather, we gave it a good try. I disagree. Of the one year we've been together, we've spent about a month in the same place. That doesn't constitute "trying" to me. But, whatever.
I thought we were the real deal. We had talked about what our relationship was and where it was going more often then not. And, each time, we came to the conclusion that we both wanted to be together. Committed to each other. I could always tell how he was feeling just by looking into his eyes. They never lied. But, for whatever reason, he's been spooked and off he goes. There's nothing I can do about it. I rest my case as far as the relationship goes. It was a long shot doing this long distance thing. And, I fooled myself into thinking it could work. I won't make that mistake again.
This time around, it's different. I'm handling this break up differently than any other in the past few years. Maybe it's because he was a good friend before we started dating? Even though my heart is broken, I think we can be friends again down the road. I miss him, but it's not that longing for him kind of missing. I just like talking to him. I miss that. I'm more upset at myself for falling for him. And, I'm mad at him for leading me to believe that what we had was real. Far from it.
Anyway, I see him for who he really is now. It's very unattractive, and it helps as far as the healing process goes. One friend I talked to today tried to give me a little bit of hope. She was shocked when I told her we'd broken up. She said that since I'm still planning my move, that you never know what could happen since I will be up there. I told her that I didn't think so. It's hard for me to feel the way I did when the ugly side of someone I once loved comes out. Some things just can't be unseen when you see them.
I wasn't going to post about this til I felt better, but I'm feeling pretty good. So, he wasn't the one. Big deal. It's his loss, and I know he's feeling a little bit of RAGRET. (If anyone's seen We're the Millers, you'll get it) Just had to throw that one in there. Gave me a good little chuckle.
So, work is almost over, and I'm going out riding tonight. Going with someone I've known for a while via facebook and mutual riding friends. Met once in person, but didn't really get to talk. He's been there when I needed to vent or talk over the past few days. And, I'm grateful. Time to close down, and go have fun. For once.
xoxo
The past few weeks have been sparse as far as communication. I had a feeling something was amiss.
He sent me an email on Monday afternoon detailing his absence due to soul searching and figuring out what was missing in our relationship. He came to the conclusion that we should just be friends. Friends.
It's Wednesday afternoon, and I have to say that I am feeling a lot better. I have requested that we talk about this since I have questions. He kind of blindsided me. As far as I knew, we were fine. Happy, even. Up until a few weeks ago.
The only thing I can think of is he felt too much pressure with my pending move out there. He said that he felt something was missing, and felt that he, rather, we gave it a good try. I disagree. Of the one year we've been together, we've spent about a month in the same place. That doesn't constitute "trying" to me. But, whatever.
I thought we were the real deal. We had talked about what our relationship was and where it was going more often then not. And, each time, we came to the conclusion that we both wanted to be together. Committed to each other. I could always tell how he was feeling just by looking into his eyes. They never lied. But, for whatever reason, he's been spooked and off he goes. There's nothing I can do about it. I rest my case as far as the relationship goes. It was a long shot doing this long distance thing. And, I fooled myself into thinking it could work. I won't make that mistake again.
This time around, it's different. I'm handling this break up differently than any other in the past few years. Maybe it's because he was a good friend before we started dating? Even though my heart is broken, I think we can be friends again down the road. I miss him, but it's not that longing for him kind of missing. I just like talking to him. I miss that. I'm more upset at myself for falling for him. And, I'm mad at him for leading me to believe that what we had was real. Far from it.
Anyway, I see him for who he really is now. It's very unattractive, and it helps as far as the healing process goes. One friend I talked to today tried to give me a little bit of hope. She was shocked when I told her we'd broken up. She said that since I'm still planning my move, that you never know what could happen since I will be up there. I told her that I didn't think so. It's hard for me to feel the way I did when the ugly side of someone I once loved comes out. Some things just can't be unseen when you see them.
I wasn't going to post about this til I felt better, but I'm feeling pretty good. So, he wasn't the one. Big deal. It's his loss, and I know he's feeling a little bit of RAGRET. (If anyone's seen We're the Millers, you'll get it) Just had to throw that one in there. Gave me a good little chuckle.
So, work is almost over, and I'm going out riding tonight. Going with someone I've known for a while via facebook and mutual riding friends. Met once in person, but didn't really get to talk. He's been there when I needed to vent or talk over the past few days. And, I'm grateful. Time to close down, and go have fun. For once.
xoxo
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