Confused & Tired

Ever get so tired of throwing hints at someone trying to let them know that you're into them? Well, that's so totally the case tonight.

For the passed few months, I've been content not dating and not being interested in anyone. But, tomorrow night, I'm riding with my foodie buddy again. We made a plan to hit up the next bike night together about a week ago, and it's coming up tomorrow ... well, later tonight.

SO, tonight when I texted him the plans for meeting up and drop off, he said it sounds good. Actually, he worked out the ride plans, and I just had to confirm. So, yes, I texted back that I am excited and ready to ride! He says he is too, BUT the only reason he's going to this one is cause I asked him. HUH??

He tells me it's a long story, and that he was going to skip the next few bike nights. So, I'm a little baffled because dude never skips a bike night, only for family events or emergencies. 

Sigh. Can you tell, I'm still into the guy?? Well, apparently he can't see it anymore than he did before. So, after I gave him the option to share his long story, he said he didn't want to. And, that's fine. But, now I feel like I've forced him to go and be uncomfortable .... even though he says it's all good.

I guess we'll see. Slam it.

Night, my readers <3

Return of the Asshat

So, last night I get this text from an unknown number. It was a friendly hello, so I answered back with hi. I tried to think who it could be since I've deleted a lot of the guys I dated/talked to from the past 2 years. So, after I answered with "hi" I get a picture message back from this person.

It's a picture of HIS JUNK! Who do I know that sends me pics of his dong when I don't even ask NOR do I want to see it?? Yup, the Asshat. He's back. Anyway, the rest of the text convo went like this ....

I have to say that this guy has got some balls. Literally ... haha, kidding. But, seriously. To take a chance and text someone you haven't talked to or even MET in person after not having any contact for months and months?? Balls.

As you can see from our text message, I didn't stand to talk to this pig for long. Memory of his quick temper, text messages of his crude nature that always turned to ridicule, and then endless phone calls that go straight to my voicemail .... I was not excited to experience THAT again. 

I thought I handled it quick and rather cleverly, if I do say so myself. And, after months and months of not dating, not talking with guys or meeting anyone new, I realize that the amount of bullshit I'm willing to take from the opposite sex is zero to none. Shitty for any potential suitors, I know. But, it's what happens after you grow out of a phase, I guess. 

A phase. I guess that's all it was. After being with one man all through my twenties, I felt it was time I went out and enjoyed life as a single person. Doing what I wanted and seeing what potential lies out there with other people. Got my heart smashed a lot, but I suppose that's the price I paid for the experience.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very glad to have had the life I lived in the last 2 years, but I guess I'm saying that I'm over it. I'm tired. I still love to spend time with my friends, but most of all, I love being with my daughter. She is my light and my love. She only has one parent, and it's up to me to make it up to her because she has no real daddy to count on. 

With that said, I'm contemplating revealing a bit more about myself to you readers. I'm thinking in my next post ....

xoxo

A Re-vist from my past

And, it's not a very good one, actually. Have you ever known someone that asked the dumbest questions, that you think if you could, you'd reach through your phone and ring their neck? Tis the case with this guy I'm sort of talking to at the moment.

I knew him years ago, and after I broke his heart, and he obliterated mine, I moved on. WAY on. 

When he resurfaced in my life about a year and a half ago, I thought, why? This guy could not STILL have those kind of feelings for me. But, after chatting with him for a while, I find out that, yes, he's still got something for me and it sort of took me by surprise.

All that time that I spent trying to get over him, trying not to care about him or what he was doing, where he was and who he was with was definitely time well spent, because I couldn't be MORE over the moon about being over this guy. The day I decided I was done with him, I was. Truly and completely. 

But, now we're in each other's lives again. Just text friends, but he wants more than that. And, I thought about it while I was traveling. I thought that it was nice to be alone and single, but he might make a good partner. A good guy to come home to after a long day. 

And then ... we start talking. And, he drives me UP THE WALLS with his insipid questions about what I'm doing and where I am. Who I'm with and if I'm having a good time. Do I miss him?? Yada, yada, yada. 

Then, I think ... I cannot do this. Not with him. How can I go backwards?? It's like trying to eat my own shit and drink my own puke. Not gonna happen. Makes me crazy. So, sorry guy but you have been 86'd!

I dare say this won't be the only post devoted to sir dumb-dumb, but we shall see. Damn. 

Summer break is done ....

Hey there my lovely readers! Yes, it's true. Another enjoyable summer has come to an end, and here we are, staring into the face of the latter part of the year. 

Where to begin?? My summer started with a bang! I haven't rode all that much, but I did travel for almost a month. Taking the kid to Oregon for a family trip to see one of my cousins graduate from the U of O, and then it was off to California to enjoy a Disney family adventure. Also stopped into San Diego for a day to visit Shamu. 

One of my riding buddies moved up there while I was there, but didn't get to meet up, but that's alright. Still had a nice time in the land of Shamu.

What has everyone else been up to? My little B has been taking swim lessons for the summer, and we get out to the beach or M's pool as much as we can. Last Saturday, we went out to the sandbar and spent the afternoon swimming and having a blast. Just about all of my little cousins came out, and even brought some of their friends. That evening, we had a nice get together with the whole family before all the kids went their separate ways ... again. 

For me, I am currently a stay-at-home mom. And, that's just fine with me. I got laid off, but it hasn't stopped me from pursuing things that I love. Besides a lot more quality time with B, I have time to spend catching up on my reading and writing. True, I haven't posted here for a few months, but I am back. 

This past Friday, I got to ride with one of my buddies for bike night. He recently bought a Honda cruiser, so it was a nice and comfy ride for me. We met up with the usual gang, and rode around before ending the night at Hooters. Lots of fun, most definitely!

So, that's my summer summed up ... mostly!