Life? Life and love? Or, love and SHIT?? Kinda wish it was more fun than it sounds ....
I know I can get off this roller coaster any time I want, but this time its a little harder.
**Side note before I continue on - For anyone new to my blog, yes, I post a lot about my dating life, but that isn't all. It's just that I find it very therapeutic getting my thoughts about what's going on in that aspect of my life down in blog form. And, it can be entertaining ... for the reader and me, as well.
Anyway, I just spent the last week in Maui, the valley isle. It was beautiful, the weather was perfect and we had a nice, relaxing time. Prior to leaving on my trip, I spent the night hanging out with new M. Considering the amount of time spent with him already, I think we've gotten pretty close. I enjoy spending time with him .... whether we're going out or just staying in. And, when we're together, I know he enjoys it, too.
But, I came back last night and he didn't seem so enthused to hear from me. No, I don't think he's met someone else, it just feels like I'm becoming an option. He wanted me to come over last night and I was down, but when I was about to leave, his texts stopped. I know what that means. He passed out from too much drink.
I start asking myself, "do I really want to put up with an alcoholic again?" That was a HUGE thing with M, and I swore I wouldn't stand by someone who needed to drink in order to deal with their problems. New M (yeah, his name starts with an M, too) is an alcoholic. He's told me he is and I've been witness to it every single time we've hung out. I've told him (jokingly) that if I never spoke to him again, he wouldn't know or care cause he's been drunk every time we were together. Forgetting me would require no effort.
But, joking aside, that really kinda hurts. I don't think its worth it ... especially if I'm just an option to him. I don't want to admit it, but I should probably move on.
Just makes me wonder how these guys can be such jerks. I mean, I know where they live, I know where they work and I have a blog. If I wanted to, I could splatter their pictures all over my blog along with my fascinating stories, and they'd never get a date again.
They're just lucky I'm a nice girl. Time to go .... Night readers!
I agree with your assessment on the pains of dating or loving an alcoholic. I was once married to one and given the choice between me or alcohol, he outright chose alcohol. I left him the next day and never looked back. Most of all, it was hurtful to think of the man he COULD have been had he not been an addict. A decade later and he seems to have cleand up his life. I like to think my leaving was a minor catalyst but there's really no way to confirm it. Strangly enough, I'm still proud of him for continuing to overcome his addiction.
ReplyDeleteNice to know I'm not the only one who's gone through this. It's tough, and it's even tougher when I see the signs in someone I really like, as I meet different guys. But, that is one thing I will not stand. If you need to drink to make your problems go away, then stay the hell away from me.
ReplyDeleteAs for this guy, New M, he's come back into my life after 3 years. He's sober now and has been working on bettering himself. And, I can say, too, that I am proud of him as he continues to overcome his addiction. Though, he lives in Texas now, he's figured out that he wants something real, and with me. For one, he's still recovering and far from ready to commit fully. And, I am not in a place for commitment either. I posted about it recently.