Just go with it

Yup, that's my new motto as of last night. Just going with it ....

After work yesterday, I went to visit new M near ala moana since that's where he was having some ink done. I had a happy hour date with two of my good friends, and some time to kill before that. So, I popped in and said "hello" while new M was in the chair. I looked around the shop, and asked some questions about the tatts I'm interested in. The woman there was very helpful and gave me all the info I needed.  

I didn't stay long since I had to get over to Stage to meet Mar and Nol. We did happy hour at one of our favorite places and talked, mostly, about my current dating life. Earlier in the day, I had been texting with Mar and she suggested happy hour after work. I was totally down since I needed some outside perspective on my current "hang out" guy, new M. I think I totally confused them both with everything we talked about, but one thing was for certain. Though new M is pretty hot, he likes hanging out with me. I feel the same. We have a good time without putting pressure on a future right now. He has his issues and I have mine, but we'll enjoy this time together and just see what happens. 

I've said this with other guys before, but I don't think I really meant it. With new M, I'm really going to try and just chill. Though he's got pretty big issues (one of them, alcohol), I feel like sticking it out ... at least for now. It's a good thing he's a happy drunk. I wouldn't be around if it were anything worse. 

Another topic came up last night which really got me thinking. I've been separated from M for 3 years. It's about damn time the divorce went through. 

Nol brought up a good point about that. All this time that I've been dating, I may have been subconsciously putting out that vibe that I'm not ready for any kind of commitment. When I think about it, makes sense. Lately, all I've wanted was to find that partner to be in a couple with again. Doing everything together and having a good time. But, with future potential. And, it seems that ultimately, I've been hindering myself because technically, I'm still married. 

Ugh, I know! It sounds horrible! Though, I feel like I'm single, I really am not. But, now that I think about it, being free and clear of my ex is an immediate goal! 

It's Friday, and definitely looking forward to going home. It's First Friday, too but I'm really not feeling it. Just want to have a quiet, laid back evening with my little B. New M is going to Chinatown tonight with his friend. That should be interesting .... Happy Friday!!