Do it to myself

Man! Can we say premonition?? I started this post a few weeks ago. I think this is when his text messages started coming in less frequently then they already were. Read on and enjoy. I was pretty upset ....
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March 21, 2013

Yup, I think I just do it to myself every time. Every time I think I'm getting close to someone, BAM! It all backfires and the shit hits the fan. 

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Putting myself out there only to be taken advantage of and stomped all over. I'm over it. I want to say that I'm done with it all and that I don't NEED a man, but that isn't true.

I do think I jump head first, rather feelings first, a lot of the time. And, with my current thing, I thought I was doing really well ... not jumping in so quickly. I took the time to think about it, let it start to feel right. Oh, who am I kidding?! NO GUY wants a relationship. At least, not at the level that I want AND, apparently, not with me. 

I've been told that my self confidence, while uber attractive, is also very intimidating. So, I'm a girl who won't take your shit and call you out on it. I'll go big or not at all. What the fuck is the point otherwise?? If you're too much of a pussy to handle a girl like me, WHY chase me to begin with?? And, how hard is it to tell a girl that you chased down, got to know a little, then decided you weren't actually THAT interested in, that you're NOT interested in her?! It's a simple phone call, or even a text away. "Hey, I just want to be friends." See?? Not hard at all. I've done it, why can't you??

Do you know what my horoscope said for today? All this crap is clogging up my thinker, and I just want to know if he's interested in me the same as I am in him. But, NOOOO. It tells me to lay off, keep things light and simple without pressing for a deeper commitment. Well, shit. Then, I realize that I'm pms'ing at the moment, SO, I obey. And, I bring my madness here.

I fucking feel like my blog voice has tourettes today. It's loud, it's clear, and it's fucking pissed. Twirl on them potatoes.
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WOW. I was pissed. But, I can be funny and entertaining that way ... sometimes. Love to all my readers! I'll be back later ....