Now I know for sure about my Foodie Buddy. He and I had a brief conversation via text tonight about how we feel about each other. What led to this heavy conversation? Saturday was our group of friends' Christmas party. We went together. He picked me up and we rode down to the party in Waimanalo at a friends house.
I haven't thought about him in that way in a while, so when he came to get me, it was great to see him and I was happy. Friendly happy. It was the first time he'd seen my haircut, so he told me while I was preparing to get on the bike that he really liked my hair. He sort of couldn't shut up about it all night, turns out. So, we get going and he cruises it down the highway, doing as I asked politely. I was a little nervous about riding with him again since the last ride was a very wild one.
We get to our friends' house, and a few others are already there. My friend, the hostess comes out to greet us and she immediately notices my hair and tells me she loves it. FB goes on about my hair as well, throwing in that it's "kinda hot, T" ... hahaha. I reply, "well, you're leaving, so ...."
We enter the house and it's decorated so festively, and I put my things down, get my pupu out and then head to the kitchen to help. We start decorating sugar cookies and laying out the spread of food. The kitchen always seems to be the gathering place in any house I'm in. So, we all have a great night, with great food and each other. It was a white elephant party, so a good part of the night was opening gifts and having a riot with what everyone got.
At the end of the night, FB takes me home and one of our other riding buddies comes along since he's going the same way. I was a little disappointed that we weren't alone, cause I had my eye on FB all night. I sort of hoped we might get a kiss in at the end of the night. But, it's alright since we made a date for the following weekend. Movie night.
The next day, party pics were blowing up facebook, and it was almost like reliving the night. There was one picture of two guys pretending to kiss under the mistletoe. Mistletoe?! I never even saw it!! So, I commented that I didn't see it. And, FB comments how he was trying to get me under it all night. And, that was it. The thought festered in my head for the next day. So, it led to our talk tonight.
I'm glad to have gotten it out in the open, even if there's nothing to be done about it. He's moving soon, and we aren't about to start something now. I still like our relationship exactly the way it is. Part of me wants to know more, wants to DO more with him, but I fear it may not be enough, and then I'll be stuck trying to fall out of love with someone I never had a real chance with anyway. Actually, I think he and I would have made it. If, we both came clean in the very beginning. Shit.
I'm not gonna think about that cause then I'll just get mad. Another one is getting away. When will he stay? Will I ever stop asking that question? I have no idea. I have no idea.
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