I've been back home for two weeks now. And, this pressure, this ache to be somewhere else has not diminished. Not even a little. I'm feeling frustrated.
The stress and frustration got to me pretty good today. At work, I don't know. I was losing it, and it was getting hard to even communicate and talk with patients.
I just need to talk. To someone. Anyone who will help me through this. I want to talk with SM, but his work schedule is a demanding one, so our skype sessions have been reduced to once or twice a week. If even that. We still text everyday, but it's not much.
I suppose the lack of contact can be good. It gives us a chance to really miss each other, and be all the more excited to talk and see each other when we do get to skype. Speaking of which, on our last session, he showed me a new tattoo he got on his right outer calve. It's a character from the show Invader Zim. I've never seen this show, but when he showed me what he got, I could NOT stop laughing. It's the main character's side kick, Gir. He told me that he went with that design because it was free, and he wanted to check out this tattoo apprentice before she actually did the tattoo he really wants.
Gotta hand it to the guy, though. He wants to help her get more experience done for her apprenticeship, plus she's cheaper than a regular tattoo artist. He goes back in two weeks to get the one he really wants ... inner bicep right arm. I think it'll look great. But, his newest tatt of Gir ... oh my lord. It's hilarious! And, he was surprised that me, of all people laughed at him for it. Sure, I'm into cartoons and comics, but I could never just get a tatt of a character I don't even know permanently on my body. He be crazy, but he's my crazy guy. I love it. The spontaneity of his nature is just enough for me to handle. And, who knows? Maybe I'll get a tattoo the next time I'm up there. I have some ideas ....
So, I think I'll get to bed early tonight. B is spending the night at her dad's and I'm here alone with my thoughts.
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