It's the big stuff ....

Why, oh why does the conversation about the big stuff always happen via phone call? Yeah, last night, a text convo between SM and I took a turn for the serious. You thought I was gonna say worse! HAH!

Anyway, he desperately tried to make his point over text, when I got totally confused and the convo then moved to the phone. Sigh.

Times like this I wish he wasn't unavailable for skype. I like to do the big, meaningful conversations for face to face interaction. His intentions had always been good when we started that text convo, but it came across the wrong way to me.

So, what was it about? Us. The future. And, me possibly moving there. Yeah, that conversation happened last night. While I was visiting him, we touched very lightly on the subject, but he did not pick up on the fact that I want to move there. So, he's been thinking about it lately, and stressing because he's worried I won't like it living so far from my family and friends. See, I've never lived anywhere else, but here in Hawaii. I was born and raised here. Roots are here. He's lived all over, and while he misses being here like crazy, this just isn't the place he needs to be right now. I get it, and I respect that. 

His thing was that he didn't know what I was thinking about it all. We know that we did the right thing in doing a long distance relationship, and we both know things can't stay that way forever. So, he asked me what I was thinking in terms of us being in the same place eventually. I told him that I want to move B and I there, but not until next summer. I want us to have a real shot at being a couple, since two weeks together every few months is not going to cut it. And, in terms of us and this going somewhere? Well, we are on our way and on the same page. He was also worried that I might leave him since he says he's an old man set in his ways. What he hadn't thought about is that I already knew that. We're still the good friends we always were, just that we are a couple now and the dynamics of our relationship have changed. I know who he is, and I wouldn't have wanted to do this if I didn't like that. He seemed to really relax after hearing that. 

And then ... there's my kid. He also thought about me and B moving in with him, and how that whole thing is going to take time to get used to since he doesn't have kids, and never lived with one in the house before. I had to laugh because I am not planning to just crash his pad, and make him live with me and B. I want to be with him, yes, but I'll look for a place CLOSE to where he is ... at first. Down the line, we'll find a place that suits all three of us, and then make that work. 

The topic of marriage also came up. We've talked about this before, and he's said that he never thought he'd get married and as of right now, he doesn't want to. That's not a problem for me since I am not in a rush to be married again. But, the topic for both of us is still open. That, I can handle. 

So, the big things have been made clear, and we are both on the same page again. Committed to each other in this relationship. Both wanting to be together in the same place, and are aware of each others intentions in that respect. Not wanting to change each other, but are willing to compromise when there is a need for it. Marriage? Not in our minds yet, but not taken off the table either. 

I feel good about this. I really do. 

xoxo