Aloof

Hello readers! I am very new at this, so I pray you bear with me and hopefully, find this somewhat interesting.

I'm starting this blog as an aversion to the very popular social media site, Facebook. Yes, you've heard of it and you may even be a very active member, or a low-key player. For myself, I've been on Facebook since 2008 ... not a very active participant but I've done my share of commenting, posting pictures and video, status updates and youtube sharing. Not to mention the array of online games to be played. But through the years of scrolling through comments and seeing everyone's updates in the news feed, I tend to feel annoyed and irritated with what some do and how obsessive they are about letting people know they're doing it. I never wanted to be one of those, so I would stick to a post, a status update every now and then. Lately, I've been updating everyday, sometimes twice a day plus a youtube video or a picture to share. Way too much activity, even for me! I claim to not like facebook much and here's why: while it is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family, most of the public only add you as a 'friend' to add to their numbers. I am not a number. If there is no interaction or attempts to start some contact go unanswered after the initial friend request, you're gone ... at least off of my friend list. It is also a very public place ... not very personal at all. I'm talking about using fb as a tool to keep in touch via messaging, wall posts, picture commenting, so on and so on.

So, here I am, blogging what's in my head at the moment. And, what is currently on my mind is the impersonal touch of that fb message. I was seeing someone last month whom I had only known a few weeks until he left for duty in the Middle East. We clicked like I hadn't with anyone in a long time. I had not expected that and figured that since he was leaving, we would chalk it up to a very good time and not keep in contact. Well, I made the mistake of asking him if he wanted to stay in touch a week before he left. And his reply was "yes. Do you have facebook?" Right there! As soon as he asked that question, my heart sank. Regardless, I agreed and approved his friend request.

Now, I'm finding myself on fb more than ever. I try to resist looking at his wall to see if he's made a new status but curiosity gets the best of me at times. And, messages between us will go unanswered for days and days and then I start to wonder if he ever meant to personally keep in touch with me.

I got my answer last night. About a month ago, I sent him a hand-written note. Nothing special, just a little note conveying that I care. Upon receipt of such a letter, any letter, wouldn't you feel inclined to send a personal "thank you" or just a message saying "hey! I got your letter!" Well, not the case with this guy. A very broad, very general "thank you" was his status update last night. How it feels to be lumped in with the rest of his fb friends, not good. Especially since I thought we had a little more going than just plain friends ....

While I don't mean to diss on the ever-popular FB, I just need a break. From him, from the posts and comments, from the curiosity within. It takes up too much thought in my day and so, instead of worrying about updating my status' too much and leaving people to wonder 'what is going on?' with no explanation, I bring my brain to fart all over this blog.