This is a new one. Comin' to ya in 2021!

Hey guys! It's me, and I'm back for a spell. This probably won't be a good post ... I'm in a ranting sort of mood. See, I was a barista at Starbucks for the past year and a half. Working there part time as I worked on writing my books. I was hoping that would be the job I stick with to pay my bills, and live to eat. Turns out, working there was hard. I mean, physically for me it was strenuous. Though, I gave it my best, they can't deny that. I was laid off due to scheduling issues. They weren't that bad, but in the eyes of the searing-cold Starbucks corporation, they were terribly bad.

It's fine. I am not seriously sad or anything. I enjoyed my time there, and met a lot of great kids and a few good people. Now that I'm out of work for immediate cash, I'm trying to look for other employment/or ways of making money. There are a lot of opportunities out there, and I intend to find them and make them work for me. Can't help but feel inept at the moment. Especially since I have other mouths to feed, and school tuition to pay. Catholic school ... what a pain. 

On another note, my ex (my child's father) has been back in our lives for the past few months. It's been great communicating again. He said how crazy his ex-girlfriend had been, and they broke up which meant he wanted his daughter, and me back in his life. That has been nice. No, not getting back on the ex-husband train, I've just enjoyed being in contact with him again. My daughter has too. 

But, today, he says he is getting back together with her, and trying to make it all work so that we can ALL spend time together ........

I don't know what that means for me, but I'm not happy about it. She doesn't like me for one. And, I've never officially met her. Wasn't ever planning on it either. And, when he and she were together, she imposed all these rules on him, which is why we hadn't communicated successfully for over four years. I don't know why he would want to go back to a situation like that. It's completely beyond me. 

I know that none of you out there give a crap either. I'm just venting at the moment. But, if any of you want to comment, please feel free. 

In other news, I have successfully published my first book. It happened in September of 2019. Yes, I am very happy to have gotten the first book through publishing. I'm currently working on finishing my second book so that I can publish this year as well. I want to have a book release party, or something like that where I can invite everyone who has been supportive. I think it would be great to get you all together, but alas, we are in a pandemic. I don't know if it would ever be possible to do something like that again. At least, for the for-seeable future. 

Anyway, I was just venting. I wanted to write since it helps when I feel like this. And, I wanted it to be online where people can see, and if so, relate to it. I know everyone has their things, their problems. So, I thought it would be nice to know that if you going through something at the moment, maybe reading this might help you, too. 

So, that's it for now. I'll work on keeping up with this blog again since its been so long. Tootaloo for now.

<3 Until the next one ...  

A Year in the Life of ... The Game of the Dead

Hey readers! I am starting, yet another blog. Merry Christmas, by the way!

This new blog will consist of a challenge. For Christmas, I have received two cookbooks: The Walking Dead's official cookbook and survival guide, and A Feast of Ice and Fire - The Game of Thrones official companion cookbook.

With both of these, I will (try) make something from either one everyday for the next year. 

If this sounds familiar, you may have seen it in Jules & Julia, the movie that came out a few years ago about a young woman who took the famous Julia Child's cookbook, and cooked her way through it in 365 days.

I've always wanted to do something like this, and I am thrilled to do it with cookbooks from two of my favorite tv shows. It will present more than a challenge since I am going back to work full time in a week, and also writing my trilogy at a full time status as well. 

So, as I look through these two cookbooks, I'm gaining a sense of how to adequately stock my kitchen. This is going to be fun!!

This blog can be found at: DeadGame-litluv@blogspot.com

I will be starting this in the next day or two, so keep an eye out!

Looking forward to starting!

First Article

So, I just finished revising my first article for the magazine I'll be writing for. I have to say that I think it's even better than my first draft. 

Rather than from a technical aspect, I've changed the article to be from my personal point of view. I found that the writing of it flowed so much better. I'm not really a technical writer, though I can be, it doesn't come as easy as when I'm writing from my experience. Anyone else experience that?

Just thought I'd post because I'm pretty excited about it. I hope my editor will like this version. He liked my sample writing that I submitted when applying for the job, and this one, in my opinion is even better. 

So, here's hoping. Crossing my fingers!

Til next time ... <3

Photo book

Hey guys! Just thought I'd pop in and let you guys know what's happening. 

Well, not much, but since I got home, I've been working on a photo book for my daughter. I thought I would put together something with her and all of her friends. She is gonna love it!

I'm sure you all could care less, but it's something fun that I like to do around the holidays. They make great gifts, and it's personalized. I've found that my family LOVES that. I did one a few years ago for my grandpa on my mom's side. Included all my mom's siblings and their families. It's a great book, and on shutterfly, it's saved so I can order another one whenever I want ... if ever anyone else wanted one.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. Back to work.

Night <3

Update

Hi guys! I wanted to share another great opportunity I've been given. 

In addition to my ongoing writing for my trilogy, I've been given the opportunity to write for a new magazine here in Hawaii. I won't say the name since they're very new, but they've taken notice of my writing and have asked me to write a section of their magazine. 

I've been given my first assignment, and I have to say it's a little tough. I'm not a reporter or journalist by any means, but this first article doesn't have me going out to interview people. It's simply a piece with heart and soul. They want me to express myself in an engaging article about something I love.

How great is that? I like that they are willing to work with me, and just giving me a chance to use my skills.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm finally doing what I love, and getting paid for it. I see bright things in my future. It's a slow start, but at least I'm doing it!

Until next time ... <3

Back ...

Yes, my readers! I am back! It's been just a little over a year, and I have some news ...

First of all, I am no longer working in the legal field. Praise the Lord!! I have escaped the hell which was my life for over fifteen years. I am now, well since August, a novelist. I've just completed my first book in a trilogy. It's a fantasy fiction called "Loyal." 

A little about it ... the main character is a man in his mid thirties, and he is Chamberlain to a young King. It's set in a modern day monarchy, so much of the parallels are of this world we know. So, my main character is loyal in which he does his duties for his country, and for his King. There was never a time where this didn't satisfy him since he has sworn his life to servitude. 

That is, until he meets a young woman who has come into the service of the King. They meet, and instantly fall for each other. Will they make it work? Or, will his duties prevail?

If you want to know more, come on over to my new blog, For Love and Country, a tale of Loyalty for which he's only known all of his life. 
_____________________________________________

Yup, I plan on making this a trilogy, and I am in the editing process as we speak ... as far as the first book goes. Soon after that is done, I will be working with a publisher, and I am hoping the book will come out before the year's end.

It's a very exciting time, and I plan on making it last!

So, come on over to my new blog: For Love and Country. I'm going to start it in just a little bit <3<3

One thing ... I will continue on with this blog. Just to let you all know. 

Until the next time ... <3

I've done it now ...

So, I've been messing around with my blogger profile, and I had the stupid idea that I'd link my blog to my google account. Little did I know that after I did that, my identity would be revealed. I can't figure out how to get my picture off my blog site. 

Anyway, there it is ... that little picture icon on the top right of this blog is me. After four years of shielded anonymity, the internet has finally made me reveal myself as Litluv. 

We'll see what THAT does. 

As a motivational tool, I'll be adding some new features to my blog ... 

So, stay tuned for more postings!

xoxo

Just thinking ...

I've been thinking tonight about something ... About myself. I don't really have a best friend. I haven't had one since I was married, I guess. 

It makes me think about everyone else out there. Everyone seems to have that one or two bestest of best friends. Someone or someone's they've known all their lives. Someone they see on a regular basis, and talk to all the time. Go out with, meet up after work for drinks, or that weekly lunch date to break up the monotony of the work week. 

Most days, I don't give it any thought at all, but tonight I was in the shower when the thought came to me. See, I recently broke up with a guy that I was seeing for the past two months. For him, it was love in an instant. That forever kind of love. But, it wasn't that way for me. So, instead of leading him on, I broke it off. He's a nice guy, and didn't hate me for not loving him back. In fact, I think we're going to try to be friends. 

But, just friends. Not best friends, or anything close to that. Why? I don't know. I'm picky about who I let into my life, and even pickier about who I let stay. 

When I think about it, all my life, ever since I was in grade school, I've never really fit in anywhere. There were definite cliques in my grade level, but I never fit in with any of them. They were my friends, but not good friends. Not the way they all were with each other. But, by the time I reached fifth grade, I found myself in a clique with three other girls. These three girls I stayed connected with through high school, and up to college. I even went to college with one of them, and we had almost all our classes together. At the time, I had considered her my best friend. But, she was a heartless bitch. I'd seen it since grade school. But, I thought that since we were such good friends, she would never be that way to me. How wrong was I. It took years, but her true colors finally shown through with me. Though, I never spoke to her again, I still see her at random times in my town, at the mall, grocery store. I've never been one to run the other way, but she sees me and bee lines it in the other direction. Coward. 

So, now that I'm older, and I have a child of my own, I tell her to befriend everyone. Rather, be kind to everyone. But, I wonder if I'm doing her a disservice. As a child, I was that one kid who was kind to all the other kids. Even the ones who were mean. I was nice, offered my friendship to anyone that was willing to play with me. Helped to cheer up the kids that were down, make them laugh, feel good about themselves. And, yet, I'm the one with no best friend of my own. 

I have a few good friends, but none that stick out as a bestie. They've all got their own best friends. 

I'm not writing this post for people to feel sorry for me. It's just something that hits me from time to time. So, with that said, I'll wrap this one up. 

Happy Sunday, readers. 

Xoxo

So long, and good riddance!

Yes, so long, fake friend. 

Hey readers. Today's post is going to be a nasty one. I apologize in advance. 

This person that I am referring to probably doesn't read my blog anymore since she decided to throw away our friendship over something so stupid. This person is Marion M., she is the one I was working with a few months ago and up until then, I thought we had been really good friends.

I was so wrong. The most fake piece of crap ever. 

Now that I think about it, the signs were there, I just didn't read into them. Signs like how fake she seemed when I would sometimes have one on one conversations with her. She only ever seemed interested when I had dish about a guy I was seeing. Or, girls who were hating on me because of a guy I was seeing. And, it always seemed that she would come talk to me about her other guy problems when she had them. Mind you, she's married. And, to a really good guy. He won't even keep the friendship with me because he's loyal to her, which is understandable.

But, the reason she's cut me out of her life is because I left the firm we were working at. I guess she feels like she did me a favor in getting me a job there. I had told her how unhappy I had become since it wasn't what I really wanted to do. She fake-supported me and said I had to do what I needed to for me. I believed that bitch, and when the shit hit the fan with the HR-wanna be-mom of the year, I couldn't take it, so I left. And, she is mad at me because I didn't give that horrible woman enough warning. SHE FORCED ME OUT. What the hell was I supposed to do? Stay, knowing how hated I was for doing my best? 

And, another thing. That firm is HORRIBLE! The attorney who's name is on the door is great. But his staff is shit. Their office isn't even an office. It's an old house in the middle of the ghetto. They HATE their clients, and talk shit about them after every phone call. They put on major face and sweet act, like you're getting your money's worth. Such a crock of shit. You should see how unorganized that office is. I couldn't find files for days! HR lost payments left and right, AND couldn't keep track of anything. Plus, deeds that were going unrecorded for HOW LONG! It was the most unorganized, unethical law firm I've ever worked at. Not to mention how HR would forget to pay us on pay days. What the fuck is that?! OH, and the alcohol that ran rampant in that office. Some days, we hadn't even finished the business day when the secretary/receptionist was taking shots! Still answering client calls. I mean, WOW. Is that any way to operate a business?? It's no wonder they're operating out of a house. No sensible attorney powerhouse would stand for that kind of behavior. 

Anyway, I'll wrap this up here. I'm sorry that you all had to see this side of me again, but I needed to vent, and for Marion to know what I really think of her. Bridge burnt, and I could care less.

xoxo

I. Miss. You.

Something has been on my mind lately, and I've been missing him so much. I dare not say who; but, I'm pretty transparent that way. 

I'm broken.

And, I don't know if I'll ever be fixed again. I'm not writing this to get anyone's pitty. Just need to vent how I feel at the moment. It's been bugging me, and it's culminated to this post. It won't be a long one, I promise since it's after 1 a.m. 

Just that he's been on my mind so much. After it ended, I didn't give myself the proper grieving time. I jumped to seeing another guy. Then, when that didn't work out, I jumped to another. After the last one, I realized that I can't pull myself into someone else and all their baggage. I don't want to. Why would anyone want to be so vulnerable when there are so many other avenues in life that can make you feel so alive? 

He was it for me. He was the one. And, he's been gone for over 9 months now. We're still friends, but not like before. He didn't love me the way I loved him. It's sad, like I was in a fairy tale wonderland thinking all he wanted was me, too. 

I'm broken. And, I don't think I'll ever be fixed. 

xoxo

Today's chatty Cathy ...

So, I've been chatting a little with an older guy today. He says he's wanting a friend. 

Well, that's great to me. If only he really means it. And, on that note, do you, guys? When you say that you're only looking for a friend, do you really mean it? I only ask because of all the guys I've had a chat with on this site, none of them know what they're looking for. Most of them don't even know what they put in their profiles. It's always surprising to them when I reiterate what they've posted in the "what am I here for" line. "What? I don't want to date!" Oh really, mister? That's what it says in your profile. 

I mean, c'mon guys. Do you really think we're that stupid? What makes you think the girl wants to chase your sorry ass down? If you make a girl chase you, that's just one of the lowest things you can do. But, if she does chase you, well ... she's the one with issues. At least, that's my opinion. 

You all know I don't chase guys. It's humiliating, degrading, and down right trashy. If he doesn't want to be with you, and makes you play these games to win HIS affections, he is not worth it. Oh, trust me. The really young guy I talked about in my previous post, dude is ALL about the "catch me if you can" games. I don't know what makes him think I'm so desperate to be in touch. I don't even play. He'll go days at a time without communicating, and then he's chatty again. He leaves me hanging usually before he goes awol for a few days. Am I supposed to text him? I really don't care what society's protocols for these things are now days, so if I am supposed to text, sorry dude. I don't play games. Over that shit, so I wish he would go find some young twenty-something's mind to play games with. 

And, on a happier note, I just realized that I am the only one in my family who is unattached. The baby of us cousins on my mom's side just revealed she is in a relationship. And, now I'm the only single in the family, that is, who isn't a baby or a child. So, this holiday season, I will be the only one without a partner as we gather to celebrate my most favorite time of year. Me, the one who always wanted to share in that special time with someone who meant more than just hanging out to me. It's sad, yes, but it is my choice to be single. So, I can't complain much, now can I? Just some hard hitting truths rear their ugly heads, and I simply can't ignore it. I wish I could. I've officially become the black sheep spinster of my family. Awesome. 

xoxo

Who do you badoo??

I don't know who's heard of this chat/dating site, but I joined badoo one late night a few weeks ago. Why? I was bored and wanted to chat with someone, anyone. I didn't care who. Scratch that, I wanted to chat with some cute guy ... guys, who were bored, too. 

So, I made a profile, put some pics up, and BOOM! Messages started rolling in. At first, no one attractiive, but I replied anyway. A few from the islands, and some from the mainland. Most looking for something more than just friends, but nothing serious. I, on the other hand, just looking to chat out of boredom. It can be fun sometimes. 

Anyway, out of all the messages I've got in the past few weeks, there are only a few that I talk to on a regular basis. One guy is a Starbucks fiend like me, and he always asks if I got my tea for the morning ... that is, when I hear from him. Another guy is married, shy, but has told me that he wants to cheat on his wife and he wants to do that with me. He's pretty cute, young, but, I told him that I won't do that. He needs to sort things out with his marriage before I consider even meeting him. Then, there's the really young guy. He's 29, but acts like he's 22. You know you're immature when you feel the need to always point out how mature you are, and that you're almost 30. That makes no difference to me. I still see you as a child, so move on, BOY! Haha ....

Then there's the guys who are looking for "the one" to get married and have a happily ever after life. I mean, really? Nothing like finding out these guys are from somewhere other than the U.S. that makes the red flags fly. Oh, they live in the states, but it's a bit suspicious when they come on uber strong with the "I want to get to know you, and come visit" statements right out of the gate. Some guys think women are really stupid. I mean, they must if they come at you with marriage on the brain, right? Hello, can we say GREEN CARD. Marry them, and then they're citizens who can up and leave you for someone they REALLY want. 

Don't get me wrong, it's flattering, and a girl can like the attention sometimes, right? Nothing wrong with that. Not hurting anyone over here. Just having a good, chill time. I scare most of them away, anyhow. When they find out that all I want to do is make new friends online, they seem bummed that I don't want more. Oh well. I still have a good time on it. 

And, that's gonna do it for me today. I'm done. Need to spend my time doing something else now. 

xoxo

What's next?

So, I'm still on the hunt for a full time job. Well, not really. I've been taking my time, and enjoying my time off. It's been so nice, but it's about time I start making real money again. 

I have a plan, although I'm the only one that knows it, it's hard to execute when people around me think I'm doing nothing. I'm private that way, but others don't see it like that. It gets to be kind of irritating, but I'm trying to not let it shake me. 

All this time, I've been looking for work that I can do with the experience I have. Admin ... clerical ... bull shit. I don't love it, and I never will. I can do it, but it's just a waste. We all know I want to write and get paid for it. So, as I work toward that, I'm going to look for a second part time job. One that gives me more hours than my current one, of course. If I can get enough hours to qualify for benefits, great! If not, then I'll sign up for quest! I hear it's pretty good and it's very cheap. 

______________________________________________

September 9, 2009 - Wednesday

So, today I've been busy. B had a half day of school today, so after picking her up, we went on some errands and had lunch at the Gazebo Cafe in Macy's. I was on a mission to make my own portable A/C for my room. It's the hottest room in the house, so I looked on YouTube to see what I might do to cool us down. I found something inexpensive and easy to do. Rigged up a styrofoam cooler with a fan, 2 dryer vents and some frozen water bottles. The fan is kinda weak, so I'll have to return the one I got for something stronger. But, my room is cooling off as I type. Hoping it will be comfortable enough by the evening. It's already 2 or so degrees cooler than it was when we came home. 

In other news, it's SO hot. Oh wait, you all know that already. HAH!

But, really, in other news, my mind has been wandering to Colorado a lot lately.  Mostly because they have much cooler weather there, and no humidity. And, I was supposed to be living there by now. Part of me wishes I just went ahead and moved, even though SM and I broke up. But, for a long time, I didn't want to think of him. Just disgusted with myself and him, and the way it was handled. So, that made me halt all plans to move there. I kinda wish I didn't let it get to me. I really love that place. All that open space, the cooler weather, cheaper living. I think I would have done it if I knew summer was going to be this unbearable here at home. 

It hasn't ever been this bad with the heat and humidity. At least, not that I can remember. Anyway, SM has been on my mind lately, the other part of the reason my mind has been wandering to Colorado. I miss the friends we used to be, and I miss him, too. We've been chatting a bit more than usual of late, and it's been nice. But, that's all I'm gonna say about that. 

I want to write more, but it's been a few weeks since my last post, so I need to go back and read some of what I've caught you guys up on. I'll be back ...

xoxo

Long overdue

Hey readers! I'm back, and it's been much too long since my last post. Four months has come and gone. So much has been going on, and I must catch you  up! It's gonna be a long one. 

First of all, I left my job that I had started this March. I left in July, and I am so glad that I did. At first, it was going well, I liked the office, the people I worked with ..... but, the work. Eh, not so much. While I realized that this office was always very busy with a never ending high volume of work, it didn't start getting to me until a few months in. For one thing, I never knew if we'd get paid on pay days. The manager let things like paying her employees slip her mind all the time. She even tried to short change me by a week after I came back from my vacation in June. I had already been back for a month when she tried to give me half of what I earned. Like, WOT?! Not only that, but I was expected to do work on my own time outside the office with my own equipment and not get paid for it. She said "anything you need to do to keep up during the work day." I mean, WOW. Does this sound good to anyone? 

Then, I thought about it, and it hit me that the rest of the office people were complete and total workaholics. I did not fit in with these people. They are passionate and LOVE what they do there. I am not a workaholic, especially not for a place that works you to the bone. Oh, and then tells you that you CAN'T take any time off to do anything with your kid. They appear to be family oriented, but are not at all. Even though the manager, who is married to the founding attorney, has a 4 year old son and takes off all the time to do things with his school to appear like the best mom in the world. What a piece of rubbish. 

So, after that fun conversation, I really started to think.  

I finally came to the realization that I didn't want to waste anymore time doing something that I don't love. My plan was to stay there until I was able to obtain a meaningful position to me doing work that I not only like, but love. This place was NOT it. And, I suppose performance in my work went downhill because of it. She noticed and we had another talk. She asked if I really wanted to be there, and I said no. I couldn't lie. So, I resigned. And, I think I may have lost a friend because of it. The one that got me the position there. I had no intention of leaving as soon as I did, but when you're as unhappy as I was, there was just no making it better by being somewhere you hate. 

And, that brings me to my current state of things ... job hunting again. This time, I'm making it count. No more filler positions. I'm gonna take my time to find something I love, something I'm good at. But, at the same time, I'm scared because that something could take me away from Hawaii. Though I was ready to move for a different reason, it's different this time. Not quite ready to make that jump .... yet. 

In other news, back in April, I had started seeing someone long distance. Someone from my past .... New M. I talked a little about how he contacted me earlier in the year, and, through our chats, he convinced me to give him another chance. Long distance. That should have been the first red flag. 

I tried. I did. But, he made it impossible to reciprocate his feelings. Smothered me with the pressure of being his whole world, and his happiness. Expressing how he was going to move back to Hawaii for me, and then the pressure of eventually moving to Texas, getting married and combining our families. It was all too much for me. After the first 2 months (my relationship expiration), I had to call it quits. After I came back from my trip in June, it was like all my priorities shifted. I no longer wanted the things that I wanted in my previous relationship with SM. I didn't want to be with a guy in a relationship. The thought weighed me down every time I'd think about it. The only things that mattered, that stuck out, was being able to obtain my dream job doing something in writing, and my daughter. She is and will always come first, and I cherish every moment with her. At least, trying to before she evolves into a preteen. 

Now, I've been single for about 2 months. And, I am loving it. The urge to have a man be at my side has subsided after all these years. I'm pretty sure it's gone forever. 

I might be chastised for saying that, but, whatever. 

I'll end it here. Already too long, I know. So, thanks for sticking it out and reading til the end! 

xoxo

The Next Day ....

The next day after a night of partying is usually ... how can I say? Touchy? Delicate? Rough??

Yes, we partied last night. And, pretty hard. It was a fun night with coworkers and friends ... a First Friday. Haven't been to one of those in years. I guess, by a hardcore party-er's standards, we were pretty mellow. At least, I was. I did get drunk, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. A few of my friends on the other hand ... well, they were visibly impaired. It was great.

It was kind of a last minute decision to go out after work, and I live on the windward side, so I didn't have a chance to go home and change for "going out" like everyone else. Well, mostly everyone else. It's ok, though. I still looked good from going straight after work. 

I hadn't planned on staying out long ... I was in it for one or two drinks, some food and fun. But, as the drinks came, and the atmosphere soaked in, I couldn't help but dive in. It was so nice being out with people I like. 
____________________________________

I started this post last Saturday. Didn't get to finish and a whole week has wooshed by! I was kind of looking forward to going out tonight, but I'm still pretty tired from the craziness of the week, so a night in with B will be amazing.

There are some other things that I can think of that would be so amazing to do tonight, too. Unfortunately they involve someone who is miles and miles away. Oh, and plus an ocean. Damn. 

xoxo

Invading your thoughts ....

What's invading my thoughts?

Work.

Yes, work. I've been at my new office going on four weeks now. I pretty much dove straight in when I started here, and I know that was expected of me since I can do the basics in my sleep. 

This field of law is different, though. I dabbled in it a few years ago, but this firm is strictly EP, Probate and Conservatorships. Diving in, head first has been the best thing. I'm learning so much, and enjoying it. It also helps that my coworkers are so easy to work with, and we all get along. 

But, now that I've been here and few weeks, and more and more has been put on my plate, work thoughts are starting to invade my home life. 

This past Friday night, I was in the shower with no particular thought in my head until ... I remembered that I was in the middle of an email to an attorney when we broke for pau hana. Mindlessly, I start thinking what I needed to finish sending him on Monday. Which led to another thought ... gotta check on the status of that affidavit and waivers ... and, then WHOA! Shut up, brain! You're not at work!!

So, this morning, I told one of my coworkers about work thoughts invading my home life. She had to laugh. Not only is our office crazy busy, but the stress level can be unbelievable. And, yes, work is going to consume you .. if you let it. But, one thing she told me, is that once that starts happening, you know you're doing well, and you like it. 

She's not wrong. I do like it. The job, the people, the work. And, I am doing well ... at least I know I can hack it. 

Look at that, it's pau hana time already. And, I feel like I just got here. Time to split!

Dreams ... again

Once again, I am posting about dreams. It's crazy sometimes how a dream can make you think... that is, when you can remember them.

This one I had early this morning. Woke from it around 5:30am with a feeling of desire for someone I had never considered that way. Ever. 

He's one of the guys that would ride with us, and we were never really close, but he's always been friendly when we'd go out. I haven't seen him in a few months, but it's always nice when we do get to hang. 

Before you jump to any conclusions, NO, I am not interested in this guy. I just find it funny how a dream can make you feel something for someone you'd never had any desire for. Maybe if he were on the market, I might make a play for him, but he isn't, so why bother? 

After coming in to work today, I briefly discuss this and dreams with one of my coworkers. She and I agree that it's symbolic of something in my life, but not sure what. Contemplating having a reading done some time soon. No, not because of this dream, but because I'm curious. I have been for a while now. Curious about what? Well, things that might happen for me down the road. The itch is not super intense, so I'm good either way. It's just a curiosity in me that is always there. 

Jumping to another thought, my clan is in war right now. Quite possibly one of the hardest we've been in yet. Seems every other war is like this now. Is it because we're all upgrading and getting stronger? Ugh. I think so. 

Don't mind me ... just had a nerdy clash moment. I love them. My clan. 

Anyway, lunch is almost over, and I have a ton of work to get done before the end of the day. I may be back later. 

xoxo 

Texas ...

Can anybody tell me anything good about Texas? I've been to San Antonio, and it was beautiful there. Wouldn't mind visiting again. But, how is the living situation? Especially the transition a Hawaii girl would have to make??

Just thinking out loud. It's open for discussion. Come one, come all. Feed me your input!

Xoxo

ATTENTION all you ....

Sometimes, I feel like I'm surrounded by them. Attention wh*res. 

Just this morning, I don't know HOW MANY of my friends posted on their fb walls this one attention-getting meme/pic, or whatever you wanna call it:

I confess that, yes, I was on my fb newsfeed briefly this morning. And, as I scrolled I came a cross a few of these. It begs the question, really? You feel the need to have so much attention because you must be lacking it in other aspects of your life, huh? 

And, then I look at who posted these. It all makes sense .. more or less. My "friends" who post shit like this only want attention. They crave it, they need it, they live on it. If it's not a post like this, it's pictures of themselves doing ... what ever. Surfing, riding, partying, or just being a selfie monster. 

See, it's things like this that keep me away from fb. Why you gotta act all aloof and clueless by putting crap like this up? Don't you know that people can see right through your bullshit? And, the ones that actually comment are worse. Feeding on each others need to be recognized and validated as someone important to YOU. My god. 

Now, before you start coming down on me for dogging these kind of attention go-getters by saying, oh, you have a blog that's all about yourself. Yes, I do have a blog, but I'm not bothering anyone with it. I'm not shoving it in anyone's face or posting that you NEED to go read my blog. Or, asking anybody to pick a number and I'll be honest with my answer. Hah! Oh please ... just making myself more irritated. 

It's late, and time for lunch. The hunger monster is coming out in blog form. Must feed.

I'll be back a little later ...

xoxo    

It's a little bit funny ....

It's just a little funny how things work out these days. If anyone is wondering what the highest form of a compliment is ... it's when you encounter a copycat. 

Everything about them screams YOU. They may not even be aware of the fact that they are trying to be like you, but in everything they say and do, it's very apparent. Whether it's something you have that they want, someone they want that you have, or they plain just love you and want to send you a pint of their blood (yeah, it's from a movie).  I am flattered when I encounter the copycat behavior, no matter what aspect of my life it happens to be. 

I see it everywhere. Not just with myself, but I see it in a certain few of my friends. And, I notice it's the people that like the masses the least. Why, oh why do people flock to us? I do have to laugh at that because I hate people. Not the ones close to me, and not my family, of course. But, I can't stand most of the masses. It's hard to tell though ... I mask it well. You'd never know it because I can be the sweetest, most polite woman you ever met. Make you think I like you even more than I actually do. Some would call that being fake, I just call it being civil, polite, even friendly. You must have this skill in order to function as a normal, accepted human being. If we all ran around like unkempt monkeys, that would be no society at all. And, believe me ... I know a great deal of them unkempt monkeys. Ha!

In any case, I am always flattered when I see a copycat. So, thank you, copycats. You are most appreciated!

xoxo