Friday the 13th ....

No, I don't believe in that superstition, but something did happen to me this morning. I spontaneously decided to hang out with one of my guy friends in Kailua. We were supposed to do something earlier this week, but that didn't happen, so he suggested that he would be off today. I said no. But, this morning, I realized my whole morning was free, so I texted and he was game. 

I got ready around 10:30 this morning, and headed out. I hadn't even pulled out on to the highway yet when my car does a shake, like when you're in 3rd gear and you come to a stop without putting the clutch all the way in. Except, I was in neutral. Then, it dies. Great. To top that spectacular thing off, it was pouring out. I started getting flustered which raised my temperature as I tried over and over to get my car started. Hazard lights on, I waved cars on that were in the back of me. Thank goodness it was a Friday morning AFTER rush hour traffic! I had a few cars stop on the side and ask if I needed help, but this has happened to me before years ago with my second car. I kept turning the key, and held the gas pedal down for a while, put it in 1st, then it was off and then back in a big circle to my house.

After pulling into my driveway, I kept the engine on to let it run and see if it was going to die again. By this time, the rain had stopped, but it was still cool out. I contemplated taking a chance and going to meet my friend, but I really felt like the universe was telling me to stay home. 

Now, this guy is the one that irks me to no end ... most of the time. And, when I cancel plans, he makes it known that he's really disappointed. Well, I guess I can't blame him, but I cancel because of very good reasons. Once, B had a cold, so no meeting up. Another time, it got too late, and it was a school night. And, then today.

I'm actually glad I stayed home. Got to catch up on reading, and took a nice long nap before I had to pick up B from school. By then, Shiro (the car) was running just fine. B and I went out for a late lunch, then to Safeway to shop for snacks to provide after her soccer game tomorrow. I almost stopped at the mall, but I thought that might be pushin' it. 

So, now I sit here, on my bed just thinking. Thinking how I miss the company of a man, a partner, someone I can confide in, and just feel completely comfortable with. And, the more I think about it, the more bummed I get. At least, that's the case tonight. I'm happy that I have my little B, but I want someone to care for me, too. Tired of having a broken family. 

Probably doesn't help that I'm reading this trilogy that has to do with 3 sisters, who are triplets, that find their true love and the family love that they've always wanted. 

 

They're heartwarming stories, but they also make me want that family love that they seek, and find. Almost done with the third book, then it's back to GOT - Game of Thrones!

So, all in all, it wasn't such a bad day .... sort of melancholy, but it's okay. There's always tomorrow .... <3

Gripe session

Yeah, that's right. I have a gripe, a bone to pick with the opposite sex. Guys, tell me why the hell is it so fun and awesome to string girls along?? 

No, no ... it's not something that's happening to me right now, but, as I look back at my dating experiences, it's something that has happened more than I would have liked. It's happened enough times where I start to see the signs earlier and earlier. 

Now, I know, boys .... the attention is so wonderful that you just can't get enough. Even though you'd never see a future with this girl, you'd still gladly use her for her fun and flirty side, and what ever else you can get from her. Nevermind the fact that she might, I don't know, have FEELINGS on the subject, or for YOU, even. Which gets stupider and stupider (I don't care if it's not a word, dammit!) because she's over here developing all these feelings of like, and maybe even love, and you boys are all over there, thinking how much more can I squeeze out of this pathetic life form?? And, then, when you're confronted about what's going on, you say "oh, I don't know. I didn't have any expectations going into this. I don't think we feel the same." But, you're thinking that if you give her enough time, you can still win her over, and then play her for the fool you think she is. And, all this while you keep your eye out for someone worth giving your all to. UGH ... 

Having fun is one thing. Making that clear from the very beginning, totally different. When I am about to go into a relationship, or even dating someone, I make sure my intentions are crystal clear. Though, as I think back on it now, it really didn't matter to the other person what my intentions were. Sigh. Piece of shit. 

What I'm saying is, guys, please do us all a favor and know what the hell it is you want from the get-go! Be open about your intentions, and nevermind that you may or may not get rejected! Who freaking cares. You're a man, you're resilient, so just move on if the girl you are currently pursuing doesn't want to be treated like a chew toy! And, if she doesn't mind, more power to you. But, as for me and probably a lot of girls out there, WE DON'T WANT IT! So take your toys and your fun and get the hell away from me! I am a lady and I deserve to be treated with respect, dammit! 

There, I said it. End gripe. 

Last Friday

Sooooo, as promised, here's a little recap of bike night last Friday. 

Foodie buddy and I met up at the usual spot before we all rolled out that night. Usually, he rides upfront with the leader of the pack. Every one of the bike nights I've gone to, he's at the head of the pack. 

But, not this time. While everyone suits up, revs their engines, he waits for me to board his ride, and I do ... not taking too long. So, I expect him to ride up to the front, but he lets everyone else go in front of him. Ok, suspicious-balls.

Right from the start, his ride is rough. I mean, it usually is, but tonight, it felt even more so .... like he had an edge, a side of him I've never seen before ...Saturday ride-man. Guy LOVES to ride, that much is clear, and he's a very experienced rider, and one of the only guys I really trust to ride with. Hell, he's even going to teach me to ride when I get my bike! 

So, right from the start, we're charging down the highway to the first freeway exit. I'm holding on a little more than usual, and thinking that maybe I just haven't gone on a ride with him for so long that I'm not used to his intensity. That, and I totally forgot about the hand-taps!! DUH! As we're entering the freeway, he takes advantage of the full turn and speed ... and, here, I thought I was going to die. I was locked in tight, but my legs were gonna give since my ass was slipping off the seat! Not very comfortable AT ALL! 

We level out, and catch up with the pack on the freeway. It's barely 9 at night on a Friday, so traffic is pretty heavy around us. No room to blast off. I thank the Lord, and relax just a little. 

Getting to the next exit, there were no crazy turns, but at the stop light, the visors go up and he turns to me. I say "Everything ok???" And, he goes "Yeah, you alright back there?" So, I tell him that I nearly flew off at the first freeway exit, and he cracks up! "I tapped your hand, and you were locked in tight," he says with a smile. Damn that smile. He's wearing a helmet, but dude still looks good in it! Anyway, he asks why I asked if everything was ok, and I reiterated my almost dying on that turn. He laughed again. Always joking, this guy.

So, the light turns green and we start heading for Pali and the windward side. It was a pretty mellow ride right until we reached the bottom of the Pali and started the climb. Other bikers around us start doing wheelies and other stunts, and I just know what's going through his head. He wants to stunt too ... dammit! And, a few seconds later, the hand-tap comes, this time harder so he knows I feel it, and in no time, we're taking off on the back wheel of his ride. This, wasn't so bad since we've done wheelies before. I know how to hold him for that. But, on the downside of the Pali, there's a huge left hook turn, and when he started to let the group get away, and gap some space between us and everyone else, I knew it was coming. Hand-tap, and then he took off in a hard, left tilting turn! 

Let me just say that I have done turns with him and other bikers, but NEVER as intense as this. My ass actually had to leave the seat to get the bike down. We've talked about it before so I knew what to do. I followed his lead, rather, his ass and both of our butts left the seat. It. Was. CRAZYBALLS! Never, have I done such an intense turn. OHHHH, but that wasn't ALL. First meeting point was at the bottom of the Pali, or the top of 13 turns. Again, we trailed the pack, and he slowed up while the other bikes pulled in. At this point, you can either go up and park, Or, you can take a ride down the 13 turns. Guess which one we did ....?!?!?! 

I've been down 13 turns on a bike before, in a car, many times. But, this ride was a hell of a lot different than all those times put together. Holy crazy shitballs. I really thought I was going to fly off the bike, head first and die. Those turns taken at a high speed are damn intense. I held on for dear life as gravity tried desperately to pull me to the ground. I don't think my ass was properly on the back seat that whole ride down. He lifted off to the right, so did I, then immediately to the left, then back again. It seemed to last forever, but finally ended when he stopped at a stop sign in the neighborhood. I pushed my visor up and padded his back. He asked how I liked it. HAHA! I had to confess and tell him that I was not up for such an intense ride. But, to him, it was hardly anything fast. And, then he goes "I thought you loved that stuff," so I answered that YES, I do, I just wasn't feeling like a speedy demon that night. 

And, so after I asked him nicely, we cruised the rest of the ride. Oh, that was so nice and exactly what I wanted. I could relax, put my hands somewhere other than locked around him, and just breath. 

That night, after I got home, I crawled into my bed where my little B was asleep, and just held her. I thanked God that I got home to her safely, and in one piece that night <3<3